Whisper
by acciodanrad9
Summary: Natalie had always heard that true love knows no bounds. But what happens when this actually comes true? Will she be able to let Keith go…forever?
1. Away From Me

**Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. **_**Keith**_** belongs to No Hands Productions and Ron Carlson. **

**A/N: **_Hey, everyone! So, I know I haven't posted Keith and Natalie's honeymoon yet, but I've had the idea for this story since early last year and I really wanted to start writing it. However, that doesn't mean the honeymoon won't get written—it's just very slow going._

_Anyways, this story is going to be set a week after the goodbye scene. I know in the movie it seemed like they were pretty much done with school, but I've kind of changed the timeline, so they have about a little more than three weeks left. As far as length, I'm not sure how long it will be, probably between ten and fifteen chapters at the most._

_**WARNING: **__This story will contain a major character's death. I don't think I really need to say whose. I am warning you now, if you don't want to read said major character's death, DO NOT read this story. _

_With that being said, I want to thank Purple Shamrock 17 for answering all of my questions (which there were tons), for her advice and for reading/betaing, and m81170 for betaing, and Ash Riley for answering all of my medical questions. You guys are awesome!_

_I hope you all enjoy it and please let me know what you think!_

_

* * *

_

_Whisper_

**Chapter One: Away From Me**

Seven days have passed. Seven days since our goodbye scene. I thought everything would get easier, once Keith _knew_ I was staying with him until, well, he left. The problem is, being with him—it hasn't been…easy, that is.

It just gets harder with each day that passes.

I've tried not to let it affect me; I just _try_ not to think about it. The only thing I know how to do, really, is just to go on living like everything is normal, and that the guy I'm in love with isn't really going to die. That he isn't going to leave me.

I shook my head, trying to forget the depressing thoughts that constantly ran through my mind. I walked into the school, yawning. There was only a little less than three weeks left of classes and then we had finals; I hadn't been getting much sleep, hanging out with Keith until late at night and then coming home to study. It was worth it though.

I glanced around the hall, hoping to see Keith as I walked towards my locker, but I didn't. I frowned at this, hoping that he was just running a bit late.

However, before I could get too worried and come up with possible scenarios on what could be making Keith late, I opened my locker and my worried thoughts disappeared as my frown immediately turned into a smile at the sight that greeted me.

It was the most beautiful rose I had _ever _seen. Each petal was a different color, and not one was the same. The petals varied from blue, purple, pink, red, green—any color I could think of, it was there. I'm not sure how long I stared into my locker, wondering how something so beautiful even existed, before I gently grabbed the rose by its stem, and slowly brought it to my face; it smelled just as wonderful as it looked. I closed my eyes, wanting the smell to surround me forever.

"I'm glad you like it," chuckled the familiar voice that I loved. _Keith's_ voice.

Opening my eyes and lowering the rose, I turned around to face him, a huge smile gracing my face. "You gave me this?" I asked, secretly wondering how he even knew my locker combination.

He rolled his eyes, before saying, "Partner, who else would give you that?" He was silent for a few seconds before adding, "Unless, of course, you have a bunch of boyfriends I don't know about…."

"Nope," I grinned. "Only you."

"Good," he finished. He glanced at the flower and asked quietly, "So, did you read it?"

"Read what?" I asked, but immediately knew what he was talking about when I glanced down at the rose. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before—a note made out of yellow construction paper was attached to the rose with dark purple ribbon.

Curious, I opened the small handmade note, but as I read it my grin diminished a fraction and I gazed back up to Keith. "_Partenaire,_" I asked, wondering why the only word he had written on the note was "Partner" in French. "That's it? And when did _you_ learn French?"

Keith just shrugged, before bending down and kissing me on the lips. "That's not important…." he whispered, causing me to shiver; he pulled away just as the bell rang.

"Are you going to tell me what the rest of the note is going to say?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"Because you'll find out soon enough."

A shadow of something crossed his face, but I didn't ponder over it very long and quickly asked, "Like when?"

"Partner," he breathed, shaking his head back and forth while sighing.

Instead of getting aggravated, I stood on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around his neck, making sure the rose wouldn't get damaged, before I kissed him deeply. "We're late," he breathed a few seconds later, reluctantly breaking away from our kiss. "I'll meet you here for lunch, all right?"

I nodded slowly, not wanting to stop kissing him, or worse of all, be separated from his presence. Regretfully, we both pulled away, and I stood there, watching Keith walk to his class when a thought suddenly occurred to me and I called out, "Wait!"

He promptly turned around, and while glancing at me expectantly I lifted the rose up and softly asked, "What kind of rose is this?"

A smirk crossed his face. "That, partner, is a rainbow rose."

* * *

Lunch couldn't have come fast enough. After class, I ran to my locker feeling the anticipation build at seeing Keith. When I opened my locker, I smiled at the rose that was carefully placed on the top shelf. I wanted to keep it forever.

Just as I finished placing my books in my locker that I didn't need, I felt a hand cover my eyes. I grinned at the touch; I would know histouch anywhere.

"Keith," I laughed quietly, as I gently grabbed his hand and pulled it away from my eyes. "What're you doing?"

Before I had time to turn around to face him, I felt his fingers grace the back of my neck as he gathered all of my hair and moved it so it was resting over one shoulder. I felt myself jump slightly when his soft lips began kissing my upper back. Goosebumps appeared on my arms as his lips trailed kisses all the way up to my neck. I could stand here all day, just letting him kiss me, but I forced myself to turn around, knowing that if I didn't stop him now, I never would. "Keith!" I laughed, before giving him a kiss on the lips.

As I pulled away, Keith gave me one of his trademark lopsided grins and said, "I wanna go out."

"What?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Out for lunch," he stated firmly.

"But," I started dumbly, pointing inside my locker, "I brought my lunch."

"So?" he pressed. "Please, I really wanna go out! Pretty please," he said, gently placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me up against the locker next to mine, trapping me. He then placed his forehead against mine and I tried not to think about how warm it felt against my own. "Please," he breathed again.

His warm breath against my lips caused my eyes to flutter closed. "All right," I whispered, relenting. "Let's go out for lunch."

He kissed me on the lips before pulling away. "Great!" he said, slamming my locker for me as I grabbed my backpack.

Once Keith was driving out of the school parking lot, I realized something and asked curiously, "So, where're we going?"

"Somewhere."

I huffed loudly. "I can't even know where we're going?"

"Nope," he said. "Oh, and close your eyes."

"Close my eyes?"

"Yes," he sighed, as if I was being reall_y_ difficult. When he stopped at a light, he brought his lower lip out in a pout. "Please?"

"Fine," I said. He knew exactly what to do to make me agree.

When Keith parked, not ten minutes later, I went to open my eyes but he said, "No, don't open them yet."

"Why—"

"I'll be right back," he said, before I could finish my sentence.

I sat there, feeling incredibly stupid and wondering where the hell I was. After what felt like thirty minutes, but was probably more like five, I was just about to open my eyes and see what was taking Keith so long, when the door opened; at the immediate smell, I knew he had gotten McDonalds.

"Finally! Can I open my eyes now?"

"Not yet…."

"Keith—" I started.

Before I could finish, I felt something soft touch my nose and Keith said, excitement coming off of him in waves, "Open them!"

So I did and found myself staring into the eyes of a small stuffed animal baby chick. He was adorable. I felt a grin grace my face as I grabbed the small stuffed toy from Keith. "He's so cute," I breathed.

I was just about to ask him why he randomly bought me a kids' toy when he suddenly spoke up, making me wonder why he sounded so upset. "You know the displays they have? To show which toys kids can get in their meals? And how they have themes?" I nodded, wondering where he was going with all of this. "You will _not _believe what their theme was!"

"What?" I breathed.

"Farm animals!" he exclaimed, as if this was the worse thing he had ever heard. "It's just wrong. They are cooking cows and chickens in there and then giving kids' stuffed animals of an animal that they just cooked. I mean…imagine: a kid gets chicken nuggets, and with it comes a stuffed animal of a baby chick. What are they trying to do? Show them what their food used to look like? There's just something very wrong about that…." I bit my lip to keep from laughing; sometimes he was just _so_ adorable. "Anyways, I got you Chirpy here…"

"Chirpy?"

"Yeah, I named him," he stated simply, shrugging his shoulders. "Stop laughing!" he stated seriously, as I let out a tiny giggle.

"I'm sorry," I said, not really sorry at all. "I think Chirpy here is mighty grateful to you. He'll have a good home now, not being afraid that he won't be made into chicken nuggets."

He just smirked, adorably at me, and while he was taking the food out of the bag (Oreo McFlurrys, cheeseburgers, and fries) I placed Chirpy on the dashboard, facing us.

"He looks good there," commented Keith as he handed me my food.

I leaned up against him before answering, with a small smile, "Yeah, he does."

* * *

We were twenty minutes late to chemistry. Luckily, Mr. Miles only gave us 'The Look' as we sat down in seats towards the back. Now, that finals were approaching we didn't have labs anymore and instead Mr. Miles, just sat in front of the room and droned on and on about stuff that he hoped we had learned this semester, but knew very well that we hadn't.

I grabbed my notebook out of my bag, planning to take notes in case there was any new information. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Keith leaning back in his chair, eating his McFlurry, while simultaneously rolling his eyes at me.

At the end of class, I could tell Keith was getting tired, and was fighting to stay awake, which wasn't surprising as this was the time he started to get exhausted. Luckily, we only had one class left.

I waited patiently as Keith sluggishly gathered his stuff. As we walked out of class, Keith said, while pulling me out of the doorway and in front of his locker, "Have fun, partner." He then kissed me softly on the lips.

"You want me to have fun?" I giggled. "In history?"

He just grinned, his eyes shining despite his tiredness. "I'll see you later," he said and went to turn around, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"We're meeting here, right?" I asked. It had become a routine for Keith to walk with me to my car after school, and, now, when he didn't do it, it just didn't feel right.

"Of course, partner," he said.

I gave him a small smile, and he returned one before he turned around and walked towards his class. I watched him walk down the hall until he disappeared out of my sight.

Away from me.

* * *

After class, I waited by Keith's locker like always, but after five minutes, with the hallways almost empty, I knew he wasn't showing up. Having a good idea what happened, I walked to his English classroom. When I walked in, his teacher, Mrs. Miller, smiled up at me, before gesturing towards the back of the room. This was becoming a pretty common routine, Keith falling asleep in class, and me coming to wake him up.

I knelt next to Keith's desk. He had fallen asleep in what looked like a very uncomfortable position; his right cheek was resting on his open textbook and a pen was hanging limply in his hand. It looked like he had fallen asleep in the middle of an assignment. "Keith," I whispered. I grabbed his pen out of his hand and his notebook off his desk, and placed them in his backpack, before calling to him again. This time he stirred, but didn't open his eyes. "Keith, you need to get up, school's over."

Slowly, he sat up; his right cheek had a crease on it from sleeping on his textbook, and his hair was all over the place, making me want to run my hands through it; it was _just __so __soft_.

As he attempted to wake up, I grabbed his textbook and placed it in his backpack before standing up. I waited for him to stand up, patiently, since I could tell that he was still half asleep.

We said our goodbyes to Mrs. Miller and walked down the school halls towards the front doors, Keith lagging a bit behind me, still not fully awake. When we got to my car, I threw my backpack in the passenger seat, before turning to face Keith. He looked much more awake already, and I loved it when a smile graced his face and he asked, "Hey, you wanna come over? You can have dinner with my dad and I if you want."

"Sound perfect," I said, wanting to spend as much time with him as possible.

I loved how my answer caused his grin to turn into a full out smile; his eyes seemed to be shining brighter than the sun. "Great," he said, before bending down and kissing me. This time, however, it wasn't the soft kisses he normally gave me at school. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, causing my lips to tingle, before demanding entrance and I allowed it.

Keith arms gripped my hips and pulled me closer to him. I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot I was holding my notebook, and when I went to wrap my arms around him, my notebook fell to the ground just as a gust of wind swept by. "Shit," I cursed, pulling away from Keith, quickly bending down to get my notebook. Some of my papers had fallen out and were now getting dragged through the parking lot with the wind.

Before I had time to stand up and go after them, Keith was already chasing them. He caught the papers quickly, and when he was walking back towards me I recognized the piece of paper he was reading. "Don't read that!" I yelled, louder than I probably needed to.

Quickly, I ran up to him and tried to grab the paper from him, but he was too fast and moved it away from my reach. "I thought you didn't want to go to prom," was all he said.

Not knowing how to answer this question, I stupidly muttered, "That's not mine…"

"So, you're saying," started Keith amused, "that this random piece of paper with pictures of prom dresses and the date and time of prom magically appeared, at the same time you dropped your notebook?"

"Um…well…yeah…" I mumbled, shamefully looking at the ground.

"Natalie," said Keith, so seriously that I looked up at him, biting my bottom lip in worry. "Why do you keep telling me you don't want to go to prom, when," he glanced down at the piece of paper, "you obviously do."

"'Cause I don't," I answered, already knowing he'd be able to tell by the tone of my voice that I was lying.

"You don't?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and leaning towards me. My breath caught in my throat as our foreheads touched.

"No," I whispered. "Not…really. It's too much work. I mean, I'd have to get my hair done, my nails done. I'd have to _find_ a dress." _It would be so much fun_, I thought. Deep down, no matter how much I told myself that I didn't want to go. I really did. I just didn't want the excitement of prom to cause Keith to exert himself and get sick.

Keith was silent for a few moments and for a split second I thought maybe I had convinced him, but then he said, pulling a few inches away, "You know, if we go, I'll be fine. You worry too much." I couldn't help but wonder how Keith always had the ability to know what I was thinking.

I was silent, so he added, "You've never been put off by too much work." He was right. "Look," he started, "If you're worried I'm not going to feel well, Natalie, it's okay. I'll be okay. The truth is, I haven't felt well in weeks, months even," he pressed. Another strong gust of went blew, causing my hair to fly in a dozen different directions. "Just because I'm…sick doesn't mean I can't—_we_ can't do things. Like go to prom. I don't get why you're so worried, partner, I can still do things. It's—it's not going to make…it sooner you know?"

I tried to come up with the right words to say, but all I could think of was to mumble, "But—"

"Go with me," he whispered, the softness and seriousness of his voice causing goose bumps to rise on my arms.

"Keith…" was all I could croak out. Did he know how much that statement affected me?

He just gave me a sad smile. We stood there for a few moments, before he whispered, "Think about it, okay? It'd mean a lot to me."

And with that, he leaned down and gave me a soft kiss on my forehead before walking towards his truck. I leaned up against my car, not taking my eyes off of him as he got into his truck, and at the same time thinking about what he had asked me.

The problem was, I really wanted to go to prom with Keith. I just didn't want to risk his health in any way for something that wasn't really that important. I wasn't about to risk doing something that would take him away from me sooner.

But, then, I also knew, no matter what I did to prevent his imminent death, his leaving me; it would always be too soon.

* * *

I was only five minutes behind Keith. I had decided to give myself a few days to decide if I should go to prom with Keith. As soon as I got to Keith's we both settled into his bedroom. I took my seat at his desk, and proceeded to do homework, while he watched television from his bed.

Two hours later, I found myself not doing homework, but instead quietly watching Keith. He was leaning up against the headboard of his bed, wearing only a pair of ratty flannel pajamas, with no shirt; apparently, he was too hot (not that I was complaining). I knew I probably had the silliest look on my face, but I couldn't get over how freaking sexy he looked, just sitting there. He probably had _no _idea.

I tried to tear my gaze away from his form, since I knew I should get back to my homework and not stare at my boyfriend, but I couldn't help it. I figured I was entitled to at least another two minutes of staring, before I had to get back to work. Just as I thought this, however, I realized Keith's eyes were staring into mine. I couldn't believe how green they were—I could see their brilliant color even a few feet away. "What?" I asked, wondering why he was giving me such a strange look.

"Are you staring at me?"

"No," I said, and too quickly.

And then he did it—he laughed. And all of my resolve to sit a few feet away from him until I finished my homework went away. His laugh was just _so_ amazing. I felt the sound of it curl around me and practically drag me towards him.

I was sure that's how I found myself crashing my lips against his; unfortunately, silencing his laugh, but the taste of his lips was enough to make up for it.

I maneuvered myself on top of him, and smiled against his lips as I felt, through the thin fabric of his pajamas, the reaction I was getting from him.

A few minutes later, when we both separated to gulp down air, he looked up at me and said, "You are so beautiful," while his hand made its way underneath my shirt. I shivered against his touch as his fingers found my bra.

"Ah, I see," I started playfully. "You think that by saying comments like that you have entitlement to roam your hands wherever they please?"

"Pretty much," he grinned as his hands continued to roam.

I laughed, before bending down and resuming the pleasant task of kissing him. I was pretty sure it was my favorite thing to do. I felt him grind against me as soon as our lips touched. A few minutes later, he grabbed the bottom of my shirt and mumbled against my lips, "Off." I broke away from him, so he could pull my shirt off completely. Taking our moment of separation, I moved my fingers towards the band of his pajamas, and without saying anything, he lifted himself up a bit so I could swiftly take them off.

And then he did the same to me.

He skillfully moved me so instead of straddling him, I was lying on my back. I wrapped my arms around him, tightly, as he began kissing me; his lips tasted of mint, and Keith, and love. A strong emotion filled me and, in that moment, I knew, that no matter what, nothing would make me let go of him.

Nothing.

It was amazing and beautiful. I could feel love coming off of him in waves, filling the room like smoke.

I had never before felt this kind of emotion…this love. Ever. And all I could do was pour everything I had into him, pulling him as close to me as possible….I couldn't really describe it—all I knew was that being with Keith it—it felt like…home.

Even when Keith slowed down, and his body fell limp on top of me, the feelings I had…they still stayed with me. A few minutes later, Keith, still breathing deeply, lifted his head up and stared into my eyes; love seemed to be spilling out of them like tears as he whispered, "I love you." I softly smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair. "Partner," he breathed, "please, won't you go to prom with me?"

My fingers stopped suddenly and I glanced away from his gaze at his question. Biting my bottom lip, a million thoughts were running through my head, but when I looked into Keith eyes, I knew that he wanted to go as badly as I did. So, I wrapped my arms around him, tightly, and whispered into his ear, "Yes, Keith, I'll go to prom with you."

* * *

For dinner we had Chinese. When Henry had come home, Keith had begged him to order it. Apparently, it was his favorite. I knew as soon as Keith brought his lower lip out in a pout and had begged, "please," in the childish voice that we teenagers use against our parents, knowing they won't refuse, Henry relented, telling Keith he could order whatever he wanted.

We ended up getting sweet and sour soup and sesame chicken. It was amazing.

I just finished eating the last of my meal and brought my plate into the kitchen when Keith came up from behind me and while wrapping his arms around me he asked, "What do you want for dessert?" Sometimes, I don't know how he could eat so much. I was going to say this, but instead I turned around glanced into this bright green eyes, their color making me momentarily frozen before I stuttered out, not being able to take my eyes away from his face…his eyes, "What do you have?"

He was silent as he contemplated my question, but then, suddenly his eyes sparkled even more and he said, "Brownies."

"Yum," I said, licking my lips, loving the way his eyes followed my tongue. He shook his head, taking his gaze away from my lips and grabbed my hand, pulling me close to his chest. He let me stay there for a few minutes, allowing me to drown myself in his warmth, before he pulled away, just when I was about to suffocate in the feeling of it all. "Want milk with it?" he asked.

"Sure," I said, smiling up at him. While he was getting the brownies and milk, I grabbed a textbook from my backpack, knowing that if I didn't read the two chapters I was assigned, I was going to fail the quiz tomorrow. Why teachers assign quizzes and tests so close to finals, I will never know.

We ate our dessert in the living room. I read my book while Keith watched television. And that's how the next hour went, Keith watching T.V while Henry (who was sitting in the chair by the couch) and I read. At one point, Keith fell asleep, his head falling on my shoulder. As soon as this happened, Henry called, softly but urgently, "Natalie," and he pointed to Keith whose grip on his glass was loosening the deeper he fell asleep. I grabbed the glass just in time before his head lolled father down my chest. After placing his cup on the coffee table, I wrapped my left arm around him, before I continued to read.

Just as I was nearing the end of my chapter, Henry got up and quietly walked towards Keith. "It's getting late, I should get him to bed."

"Yeah," I said, reluctantly. Even though I was tired too, I didn't really want to move out of the position Keith and I were in.

Ever.

Henry gently called to Keith who only murmured something neither of use could quite understand. "Come on, Keith. You need to go take your medicine and get to bed." I could tell by the look on Henry's face that he didn't look too happy having to wake Keith up.

When Keith didn't budge Henry gave me a look and I scooted over careful to hold onto Keith so he didn't fall over. Luckily, he was awake enough that he repositioned himself so his head was resting on the back of the couch.

"C'mon, Natalie has to get home and it's late."

At these words, Keith's eyes flew open and landed on me. Still half-asleep he whispered, "Stay?"

I was a little surprised by this request, but not completely since he had been asking me to stay over quite a few times in the past week.

"Keith," started Henry before I could respond, "Natalie probably wants to sleep in her own bed at home."

Tiredly, he moved his eyes to glare at Henry. "But I want her to stay." He turned to look at me. "Please?"

"Of course," I answered. I knew right from the moment he had asked me that nothing would make me leave.

He grinned, a tired grin, before rubbing his eyes and slowly getting up. As he walked into his room, I went to put my textbook back into my bag when Henry said, "You don't have to stay, Natalie. I'm sure he'll understand."

"No! No, I want to stay, honest." I smiled at him. I said goodnight to Henry, before I made a quick call to my mom, letting her know I would be staying for the night. Last week, I had finally gotten the courage and told my parents what had been going on with me. I told them everything, well, mostly everything. I was just so completely relived and happy that they understood and that they were okay with it all.

Once I was off the phone, I walked into Keith's room and as soon as I did, I tripped on one of his shoes and almost fell on my face. As I righted myself, I heard Keith laughing and I looked up to glare at him. He was standing near me, toothbrush in mouth, laughing at me, his eyes sparkling.

"Shut up," I said, as I found Keith's bed, thankful that I didn't trip again. I was about to get into bed, when I realized something. "Keith, can I borrow some pajamas?"

He walked out of his bathroom, and grabbed something from a drawer and threw it at me. I glanced them and then back to him.

"What?" he asked, pulling his the covers on his down and attempting to get under them, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Um…a shirt?" I glared. "You only gave me pants."

At this, he laughed. The laugh I loved; the laugh that I swore always surrounded me and in those moments was all I could hear.

"That's all I'm wearing," was all he said.

"Keith!" I admonished, hitting him with his sweatpants, before standing up. I quickly changed into them and found one of his t-shirts on the floor and put it on.

As soon as I pulled it over my head, Keith's scent surrounded me and I drank it in greedily. Loving the way his scent was all around me, I crawled into bed with him.

"I was kind of hoping you weren't going to wear anything…." said Keith.

"Shut up," I whispered, even though it sounded softer than I indented it to.

I thought Keith was going to fall asleep within seconds, since he seemed tired, but an hour after we had gotten into bed, he was still trying to find a comfortable position.

"Keith," I said finally, not being able to take his constant movements any longer. "Can you please stop moving around so much?"

"I can't fall asleep," he mumbled. "And I'm tired…."

I lied there, not really sure how to help him when, suddenly, and idea came to me and I said, "Hey, roll over, facing the wall."

He did so. "What're you doing?" he asked, once he was in the correct position.

"We're going to play a game."

"What kind of game?"

"A guessing game of sorts."

"Really?" he asked, excitement lacing his voice.

"Yeah, try to guess what letter I'm spelling out, all right?"

"What do you me—" he started, but stopped as soon as I began lightly tracing a word on his bare back with my index finger.

"Do you know it?" I asked him once I was finished with the word.

"I dunno…."

"I'll do it again," I whispered, and this time took my time tracing each letter individually.

As soon as I finished, Keith said, in a tone that I knew, even though I couldn't see his face, that he was smiling. "Truck?"

"Yup," I said. "Next one."

The game went on for a good thirty minutes, and I could tell Keith was falling asleep, happy that my plan was working.

I just finished tracing the last letter of the next word, but this time got no guesses from Keith. I called to him, making sure my voice wasn't too loud in case he had finally fallen asleep.

After getting no response, I carefully sat up in bed, and leaned over Keith, checking to make sure he was asleep. His eyes were closed, and at his steady deep breathing, I knew he was.

I lied back down, pulling the covers over us both before, snuggling up as close to him as possible before saying, "I love you, Keith," trying not to wonder how many more times I'd be able to say those words aloud and he would be there to hear them.

* * *

**A/N: **_Chirpy says 'hi' and would love it if you all review…_


	2. Your Star

**A/N: **_Hey, guys. I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this. I was planning to do so yesterday, but then I got a migraine and couldn't read over it to make some necessary changes. The next chapter should be up within two weeks. To those of you who reviewed, they mean a lot to me. I'm glad there are people reading this story, considering it will be fairly depressing._

_Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Two: Your Star**

The next morning, I found myself practically falling off of Keith's bed. Knowing why I was in this position, I rolled over, planning on pushing him back onto his side of the bed. But when I saw him, sleeping there, his body sprawled on the bed, one arm resting on his bare stomach and one underneath his pillow, I just _couldn't_ do it. He looked so damn adorable.

Instead, knowing that I couldn't move Keith out of the position he was in, I snuggled up close to him, closing my eyes. I tried to allow Keith's deep and easy breathing to lull me back to sleep, but after twenty minutes, and too many thoughts running through my head, I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I decided that I'd go outside…and think, hoping the cool morning air would let me clear my mind a bit.

I sat up slowly, kissing Keith on the forehead before I carefully got out of bed. Quietly, I grabbed a sweater of Keith's that was on the floor and put it on, knowing that it'd still be cold out as it was only five in the morning.

I walked quietly through the house, hoping I wouldn't wake up Henry. I opened the front door, but tensed when it slammed a bit behind me.

Breathing in the chilly morning air, I sat down on the concrete, resting my head on my knees, and let my constant thoughts race through my head. Most of them focusing on Keith.

I tried not to think about how everything would change once Keith was gone, but it was pointless. I thought about it a lot. I hated thinking about how my life was going to be without Keith in it. I hated it…a lot because it made me realize what it—my life—was going to be like once he died.

Empty, cold, and…pointless.

Deep down his death haunted me. It was like a lingering cloud always hung above my head. I was constantly asking myself questions. Was death painful? Would Keith know, seconds before, that he was about to die? Would his life really flash before his eyes? Would he really see a bright light?

I hated the fact that the details of death were so unknown. I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know everything because I felt like it would give me some type of peace. Deep down, though, I knew I never would get the peace I wanted.

Sometimes I wondered whether or not Keith thought of death. I wondered if he was scared. Scared like I was.

I don't know how long I sat outside, thinking about Keith, when I heard the front door open and then felt someone sit next to me. "You're up early," said Henry. When I turned to look at him he handed me a cup of coffee.

Carefully, I grabbed the cup from him and took a sip, the coffee warming me like a blanket. "Yeah," I started to answer, "I couldn't sleep…too-too much on my mind."

"Yeah," he sighed, which seemed to shake the earth. "Yeah, I know what you mean…" he admitted. He rubbed his face tiredly, and stared ahead of him out into the street. I was positive he wasn't _really _seeing anything.

I didn't like the sad look that crossed Henry's face, as he sat there, so trying to lighten both of our moods I said, with a small smile, "Plus, Keith hogs the bed."

He laughed and I was immensely glad to see my comment had produced a smile. "Yes, he does. I remember when he was little, when he'd get scared and come into our room. He'd squeeze between Sandra and I and by the morning either me or Sandra was on the floor." His eyes got a far away look, as if he was trying to hold onto his memory and never forget it.

I was about to say something, but jumped when I heard the front door open and Keith came walking out. "What're you guys doing?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

He sat in between Henry and I. "Natalie and I are just sitting in the quiet, Keith, enjoying the morning air."

Keith rolled his eyes. "Dad, you are _so_ weird."

I giggled at that, and Keith looked at me. I just smiled at him, loving the way his cheeks where red from sleep and his hair was all over the place. He leaned up to me, giving me a kiss before saying, "Morning."

"Morning, Keith," I whispered. I really wanted to run my fingers through my hair, to feel its silkiness, and I would have if Henry wouldn't had been sitting there.

"Dad?" spoke up Keith.

"Yes, Keith?"

"Can you make pancakes?"

Henry chuckled loudly. "Keith, is food all you think about?"

Keith huffed. "Dad, please, you forgot about trucks."

"Oh, right, trucks."

I snorted loudly at that and glared at Keith. He turned to look at me. "Aren't you're forgetting something?" I pressed.

"Hmm…food and trucks…nope, that's about all I think about." I slapped him—hard—on his arm and he grinned. "Okay, I think about Natalie too." I smiled. Keith was silent for about two seconds before he said, "So, Dad, can you?"

"I'll make pancakes," said Henry, the corners of his mouth curving into a smile.

"Sweet," said Keith, getting up. He opened the front door and looked back at me expectantly, before saying, "C'mon, partner."

"I'll be there in a minute," I smiled.

For some reason, as soon as Keith left, there was an awkward silence, between Henry and I. Just as I was about to get up, Henry looked at me and said, "Natalie?"

"Yeah?"

"You love him, don't you?"

His question was serious and sincere at the same time. My vision grew blurry as tears filled my eyes. "I _love_ him," I whispered, not really carrying how my voice had wobbled when I had answered this.

He smiled at me, an emotion passing his face that I couldn't recognize. "Thanks," he began. "It's not that I didn't think you didn't…it's just I wanted to make sure…you know?"

I nodded. I understood exactly why Henry wanted to know, to make sure. He didn't want me to leave Keith, not when he needed me the most. "I know," I whispered, and he smiled at me again, before getting up and heading back inside the house.

* * *

The rest of the week went by quickly. I had spent a lot of my time after school, shopping for my dress (which was dark purple and fell just below my knees—it was simple, and just what I wanted), shoes (which were silver and had straps twisted in the front), and accessories (just a simple necklace and earrings).

And before I knew it, Saturday night had arrived and my mom was helping me zip up my prom dress, and making final touches to my makeup while Keith was waiting downstairs with my dad. I just hoped my dad wasn't freaking Keith out. Like telling him he'd beat him up if I wasn't brought home in one piece or something.

Figuring that I should get downstairs and free Keith from my dad's overprotective speech, I quickly slipped my shoes before checking myself in my mirror one last time. "How do I look?" I asked my mom, turning around for her to inspect me.

Her eyes got kind of glassy and I really hoped she wasn't about to cry. "You look stunning," she replied, making me blush.

"Really?"

She just smiled at me, which gave me more of an answer than any words would have. I gave her a small smile back, before grabbing a tiny sweater off of my bed. "Well," I said, "this is it."

I swore my mom looked like she was about to cry any second, so I took that as my cue to leave. I didn't want my mom to start bawling. That might just freak Keith out enough to leave.

At the top of the stairs, I took a deep breath before I began descending them. My heart was pumping loudly in my chest and I wondered if anyone could hear it.

Walking down the stairs, I spotted Keith before he did me. As soon as my dad glanced up and saw me, Keith turned around, and as soon as his eyes caught mine, they widened and clouded over with an emotion I couldn't quite distinguish; he looked quite speechless. I felt like I was in one of those cheesy romantic movies.

I loved every minute of it.

When I walked up to Keith, he hesitantly stepped forward and gently grabbed my hand. Pulling me closer to him, he gave me a soft, shy kiss on my lips before stepping back and saying, "Hey, partner. You look beautiful."

I had to blink rapidly to keep back the tears that wanted to fall. The way he said those words—they were just to full of honestly, passion, and love that I almost broke down. Why did he have to be so perfect? Why did he have to be everything I wanted? And why, _why_, did he have to leave me?

I mentally shook myself. No, I couldn't think about him leaving me. I _wouldn't_. Not tonight. Tonight was prom and I was supposed to be happy—happy that I was with him and he was with me. The depressing thoughts left me almost instantly, and I smiled up at him, glancing him over.

He was wearing a black suit that fit him perfectly, and a white shirt with a dark purple tie that matched my dress perfectly. "You look handsome," I said with a smile, loving the way a tiny blush bloomed on his cheeks.

"I-I got this for you," he said, sounding bit nervous. He was just too adorable. I watched as he lifted up a plastic box that I hadn't noticed he was holding.

He let go of my hand and fumbled to open it which contained a beautiful corsage. It was simple; just a single purple rose, and was accented with tiny pearls and some baby's breath. "It's perfect," I said, glancing up at him. He grinned back at me.

Turning around, I grabbed his boutonnière off of the coffee table that I had gotten for him. It was simple as well, just a white rose with purple ribbon to match my dress. I attached it carefully to his jacket, making sure not to prick him. As soon as I got it on my mom exclaimed, "Outside! Pictures!"

I groaned and grabbed Keith's hand, gently leading him to the front yard where my mom proceeded to take about a million and one pictures. Soon, I had had enough of pictures, and Keith looked like he felt the same, even though I knew he wouldn't say anything. When my mom noticed I was trying to sneak away she said, "Just-just one more!"

I halted so quickly that Keith ran into me. "No more," I said to my mom, promptly grabbing Keith's hand and pulling him towards his truck. If we didn't leave now, I was sure my mom would hold us hostage and take pictures all night.

As we got closer to Keith's truck, I glanced at him and began to silently laugh at the confused and overwhelmed look gracing his face. "Bye!" I called to my mom as we both, finally, got into Keith's truck. Sure enough, when I glanced up through the window, she was still taking pictures.

"Your parents are nice," said Keith as he pulled out of the driveway.

I groaned. I couldn't believe the first time he had to meet my parents, my dad was acting all protective and my mom all psycho. "They're crazy, Keith."

He laughed, and I closed my eyes at the sound. Was there anything more beautiful? "There's nothing wrong with being crazy, partner."

I smiled at him before I asked, "So, where are we going to dinner?"

"You'll see."

"Keith, seriously!" I crossed my arms against my chest, trying to look pissed.

"Partner, you know that face only makes you look cute, right?"

"Keith!"

"Just sayin'."

As Keith drove, I tried to think of the place he was taking me, but really couldn't come up with anything. Twenty minutes later, when he parked, I instantly recognized where we were—the parking lot to my favorite restaurant. "No way," I said. "We're getting fondue?"

"No, partner," he began. "I only parked in their parking lot to tease you, but we're actually eating at a restaurant five blocks away. Which only serves bland soup and maybe, if you're lucky, bread."

"Keith, this is too expensive!" He rolled his eyes. "And-and you said you hated fondue!" I didn't want him to spend all of his money on food that he didn't like.

"Well…I lied. I've actually never had it."

I raised my eyebrows. "How can you say you hate it, then?"

He shrugged. "It sounds weird. Dippin' food into cheese."

"You think that sounds weird? You dip those beef stick into Twinkie frosting or whatever it's called."

"Now, _that_ is good food."

I gently slapped him on the arm before saying, "Seriously, Keith, you don't need to take me here. We can go get something else. Like McDonalds or we could even—"

He placed his index finger on my lips, silencing me. "Partner, I'm going to be nice about this. Shut up, okay? We're going here."

I nodded slowly, gently grabbing his wrist and taking his finger away from my face, before leaning forward. "Okay," I whispered against his lips.

The restaurant was called Mona Lisa, and I loved it not only because their food was amazing, but also I loved the atmosphere of the place. It was dark and had a very romantic feel to it.

We sat down and I began explaining to Keith exactly how everything worked. By the time I finished my spiel he looked quite excited.

"You mean, I actually get to dip marshmallows into chocolate?"

"Yup, and cheesecake and strawberries and—"

"Did you just say _strawberries_?"

"Yup," I grinned.

I have never seen Keith so excited—okay, maybe I have—but still, I loved seeing him like this. As soon as we got our first course of the actual fondue (the cheese) he wouldn't stop grinning.

I wish I could have just frozen this moment—never let it go. Just keep replaying it over and over again in my head. It would never get old.

Never.

We talked about everything and…it was perfect. I wanted to learn everything about Keith; I never wanted him to stop talking, because when he talked…everything just felt…right. I felt like I belonged only with him and _no one _else.

Keith loved the second course, which was meat that you cooked by yourself on a tiny grill. He was having so much fun, that most of his meat turned out incredibly burnt, because he didn't want to take it off the grill and end the fun.

But when we got to the last course—a dark chocolate fondue, which you dip a variety of desserts in, I knew that it was his favorite. His eyes were wide with excitement and I swore his grin was the biggest I had ever seen.

And as soon as he dipped a marshmallow in the chocolate and took a bite he said, not even bothering to finishing chewing, "This _is _my favorite." I tried to stifle a giggle. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I smirked, grabbing a piece of cheesecake and dipping it into the chocolate.

He just grinned at me, before he stabbed a strawberry and literally submerged it in the chocolate; however, when he went to take it out it was so loaded with chocolate that it fell off of his fork and back into the chocolate. "Oops," he said, trying to use his fork to rescue his strawberry.

Before he could do so, however, I placed my hand on top of his, officially stopping him from further searching. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion at how serious I sounded.

"You do know that if you drop something in the chocolate…that I have to do something, right?"

"Something? Something like what?" he asked.

I bit my lip, trying to look extra nervous, before a grin finally spread across my face and I said, "The rule is that I have to kiss you…."

His eyes got wide. "Really?"

I nodded as I began leaning over the table, Keith following my lead. It felt like we were moving in slow motion. Which our lips finally met, I closed my eyes, letting the feeling surround me. His lips were moist and tasted of chocolate and just…Keith.

When we pulled away, I knew I had a silly look on my face, but I really couldn't bring myself to care. No one's kisses had ever affected me like Keith's.

I grabbed a brownie, replaying the kiss over and over in my mind, while Keith quickly rescued his strawberry, before grabbing another a piece of the cheesecake. However, somehow, it accidently fell into the chocolate again….so I kissed him again.

And after that, Keith dropped another piece of food into the chocolate.

And another.

And another.

That's how the rest of our dessert progressed, Keith 'accidently' dropping his food into the chocolate and me kissing him. I don't think it could have been more perfect.

* * *

The prom was beautiful. The theme was starry nights, so the ceilings had dark blue tissue paper with white lights attached to them, giving the affect of stars.

I grabbed Keith's hand more tightly, as we walked in, leading him straight towards a line.

"Where are we going?" he asked me, as I continued to pull him in the direction of the line.

At his complete obliviousness, I said, "Honestly, Keith, we're getting pictures."

"Pictures?" I nodded. "Can we make funny faces?" He looked too entirely excited as this prospect.

"No, Keith," I said, rolling my eyes. "You cannot make a funny face in our prom picture!"

"Why not?" He looked so upset at this, that I almost relented. Almost.

"'Cause I said so," I said, as I grabbed an order sheet to fill out as we waited in line.

After I finished filling out the form, Keith said, "I can't even stick out my tongue?"

I glared at him. "No."

"What about if we get each other bunny ears?"

"No," I said, more sternly this time. He just glared at me, before bringing his lower lip out in a pout. I had to look away, because I knew if I kept staring at the face he was giving I would give in.

When it was our turn, the photographer positioned us before getting behind his camera. Right before he snapped the photo I said to Keith, "If you make a funny face you'll be in trouble."

After our picture was taken, and we were walking to where the actual dance was, Keith said, "I guess you won't know if I made a funny face until we get the picture."

"_Keith_!" He chuckled.

Most people were dancing, but there were also some standing around the refreshments area, which had punch, cookies, and even a chocolate fountain.

"They have food!" said Keith. I turned to look at him, and loved how his eyes were gleaming like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Keith, you just had a bunch of food."

"So?" he grinned. I just rolled my eyes, trying not to think how much he seemed to be able to eat. "You wanna dance?" he asked.

I nodded, smiling up at him. He led me over to the dance floor, where Keith began dancing. Okay, I wouldn't really call it dancing. I don't really know what he was doing, but it was still adorable and so Keith.

I just loved how, no matter what, he did what he wanted—he was himself. He was…Keith. I don't think I could have loved him more than I did right then.

After about an hour of dancing, I noticed Keith seemed to be really out of breath and I knew he needed to sit down for a while. I couldn't exactly tell him this, so instead I said, "My feet are killing me. Can we sit down for a minute?"

He nodded, looking relieved. We pushed through the crowd of people and were lucky enough to find a small table, covered with a shimmery blue cloth, and silver star-shaped confetti tossed on top.

Keith slumped into the nearest chair, trying hard to catch his breath and I said, "I'm going to get some punch, want some?"

He nodded gratefully. On my way to the refreshments, I tensed when I caught sight of Raff looking in my direction; I kept my gaze firmly ahead, and was relived when he went back to his date and didn't come try and talk to me.

I grabbed two plastic cups and began filling them with strawberry punch. When I finished, I went to turn around, but bumped into someone. "Shit, I'm sorry," I said, righting the cups before I glanced at the person.

When I did, my eyes got wide as I recognized who I had run into. Brooke.

The silence as we both recognized each other was incredibly awkward. I didn't know what to say to her. I knew that I had been a bad friend to her, but I just didn't know how to explain everything that was going on to her.

Part of me wanted to take her aside and tell her _everything_. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her and how much I needed her through this difficult time. But I just _couldn't_. Part of me was worried that she wouldn't believe me or just wouldn't care. I was worried that she would tell me that _Keith was a freak _and Raff was so much betterand it was stupid to love him. That _I_ was stupid for loving him. For loving Keith. And that one thought, most of all, kept me from saying anything.

So, I was surprised when she spoke up, "You look nice."

"You too," I said.

The awkward silence seemed to get worse with every second that passed. "Um," she started, "Did you see the final layout of the yearbook?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it looked good. Really, really good."

"I heard we should be getting them in a week or so."

"Really? That's great."

She smiled shyly at me for a few seconds, and it appeared we both had nothing much else to say. A few seconds later, she cleared her throat, and while, pointing behind us towards the punch, she said, "Well, I better…."

"Yeah, yeah, of course," I numbly nodded.

She took a few steps forward, but then stopped and glanced back at me as if she wanted to say something else, but she didn't, instead, she quickly walked away.

I stood there for a few seconds, wishing that I would have been brave enough to have said something, before I sighed to myself and walked back over to Keith.

I felt a small smile grace my face as I neared the table that Keith was at; he had loosened his tie and had unbuttoned his shirt enough that I could see a little bit of his chest.

I handed him his drink and he took it gratefully, downing all of it in less than thirty seconds. "Thanks," he said, once he was done.

However, before I could reply or finish my drink, Keith realized something and stood up quicker than I thought possible, grabbed my hand, pulling me up from my chair, and dragging me towards the dance floor.

"Keith wh—"

He placed both of his hands on my hips and pulled me close before saying, "We haven't danced a slow song yet, partner."

I about melted into a puddle at his words. Grinning, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "How come you're so sweet sometimes?" I asked, not taking my gaze away from his.

"Sometimes? Only sometimes?"

I giggled. "Okay, maybe most of the time…."

He narrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "So what am I during the time that I'm not sweet?"

"Hmm…let me think you can be annoying, irritating and, well, infuriating…."

"Aren't those kind of like the same thing?"

"Not…technically…."

He just pulled me closer, placing his forehead against mine. When the song ended, he placed both hands on the side of my face before leaning in and kissing me.

* * *

The prom ended at midnight. Afterwards, I had expected Keith to drive us back to his house.

But he didn't.

Instead, he parked in front of an IHOP. "Why're we here?" I asked him.

He turned to me. "Everyone goes to IHOP after prom. It's the thing to do."

He just looked so cute there, trying to look serious, and I just smiled at him. Sometimes smiles said more than words.

Keith was right, when we walked inside there were at least half a dozen couples who had come from their prom. We were led to a booth in the back. As soon as we sat down, Keith ordered both of us coffee.

Since it wasn't very crowded, we got our coffee right away and as we were both adding milk and sugar, I finally got the change to get a good look at him. He had shadows under his eyes, granted most days he always did, but right now, they were darker and more prominent. His face also seemed to shine with a thin layer of sweat.

I tried to remind myself that we had just spent the past four hours dancing and he was supposed to look tired. But when I noticed how much his hands were shaking when he lifted his cup to his lips, I felt dread fill me. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked, hoping I sounded casual.

"I'm fine, partner," he said quickly. Too quickly in my opinion. However, when he shakily set down his cup on the table, and it almost fell over, he looked up at me, guilt crossing his face, knowing that I had noticed. "I'm just tired," he weakly muttered.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I hoped he was telling the truth. I didn't want him to lie to me.

"Positive," he said, but at my worried look he added, "Look, I probably shouldn't have danced so much, but I promise, all I need is sleep." I bit my lip, trying to make myself believe him. "You trust me, don't you?"

That did it. He had me. "I trust you," I whispered.

Just then the waitress came over and took our orders. Keith got chocolate pancakes and I got a Belgium waffle. In less than ten minutes after we ordered, our food came. I watched as Keith took his pancakes and stacked them on top of each other. In between each pancake he put butter, strawberry syrup, and whip cream. When he took his first bite, I wondered how he got the whole forkful in his mouth.

We ate our food in silence, and when I happened to look up at him, I saw some whip cream on the side of his mouth, and couldn't stop myself from leaning forward, grabbing his tie, and pulling him as close to me as possible.

Keith's face was shocked and a bit confused as I leaned in towards his lips; I licked away the whip cream before kissing him long and hard. I pulled back a bit, and lips still gracing his, I said, "You had some whip cream on your lip…."

He didn't respond; his eyes were just glazed over with surprise and he couldn't seem to take his gaze away from my lips. I kissed him once more before letting go of his tie, where he practically fell back onto the booth.

He still had a shocked look on his face, and I couldn't help but smile as I pick up my fork and continue eating. "Keith?" He blinked. "Keith!"

Finally, he snapped back to reality and I said, with a smile on my face, "Thanks for taking me to prom."

He didn't say anything back to me; he just grinned. A huge grin that seemed to light up the whole room. His smile—it said it all. It said everything I felt, and _everything _I wanted to say.

There didn't need to be any words.

* * *

After eating at IHOP, Keith drove us back to his house, and we had fallen asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow. We didn't wake up until past noon. After we had woken up and had some breakfast, Keith drove me home. I was happy to notice that sleep had seemed to rejuvenate Keith. He wasn't shaking anymore and the dark circles under his eyes weren't as prominent. I had wanted to spend the whole day with him, but I really had to catch up on my homework.

I spent the rest of the day, doing homework and thinking, well, about Keith. I thought about how unfair all of it was. I thought that if he didn't have cancer we could have an unlimited supply of nights like prom and that I wouldn't constantly wonder how much time we had left…because at least, then, time would be on our side. Or at least it would seem like it.

It was nearing close to eleven at night when I finally finished my homework. It felt good to finally have pretty much everything caught up. I was just heading into the kitchen, planning on making myself a cup of tea, when the front door opened and Zach walked in.

"Hey, Nats," he said, smirking at me. He looked entirely too suspicious. But then again, when didn't he?

I crossed my arms against my chest. "Well, it's nice to see you're finally home."

"Aw, you missed me. How sweet of you."

I just rolled my eyes. Sometimes he was _so_ annoying. "Yeah, you wish." I took a few steps forward to continue on to the kitchen when Zach grabbed my wrist. "What?" I asked, getting more irritated.

"You might want to go outside…."

"Why would I go outside? It's eleven o'clock at night!" I huffed.

"I think there's something out there for you."

"Really?" He nodded. I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to determine if he was telling the truth, or trying to come up with a way to prank me somehow. The expression on his face, however, didn't change, and I exhaled loudly, wondering why I was so stupid to believe him. "If you're lying," I started, as I put my hand on the doorknob, "I'll kill you."

He just smirked.

The refreshing summer night air hit me as I walked out, and I breathed it in deeply, letting it fill me up. After about thirty seconds of looking, and just as I was about to walk inside and yell at Zach, I saw it. It was hidden next to the bushes by my front door. A bowling ball, blue and white, with another rainbow rose resting in one of the holes.

Letting out what sounded like both a laugh and a sob at once, I grabbed it and sat down on my porch. When the bowling ball was resting in my lap, I saw the name Pasty engraved on it and ran my fingers over the name. I remember the night clearly, the night that we had left Patsy and Cosmo at the diner. The night that I knew that I was falling for him, and no matter what I had tried to do, had tried to tell myself. I hadn't been able to prevent it, I had falling for him…hard. I tried to latch onto the memory for as long as I could, before lifting the rose out.

Like the first rose, it had a small piece of yellow construction paper attached to it, by dark purple ribbon. Smiling to myself, I read the note, but all it said was '_Je_' the French word for I.

The word became blurry with my unshed tears. What was Keith doing? What did the notes 'Partner' and 'I' mean? What was it going to mean? What did he want to tell me?

I wasn't sure how long I sat out there, before I heard the front door open and someone sit down next to me. Zach. "So, is that from the Truck Guy?" he asked. I didn't turn to look at him, only nodded. "What's it say?" he asked.

"_Je_," I said, turning to look at him. At the confused expression on his face, I clarified, "It means, I in French."

"Ah," he said. "What's it suppose to mean?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know…I think he's trying to tell me something. I don't understand though, why won't he just tell me? Why is he spreading it out in notes?"

"I think you'll find out when you're ready."

A tiny smile curved on my face. "He said something kind of like that." I turned my attention back to the rose.

"So, this thing with you and the Truck Guy—"

"Keith."

"What?"

"His name…it's Keith."

"Keith," he corrected. "Is it, well, serious?"

This time, the tears came back with a vengeance, pricking the backs of my eyes like needles. "Yeah, it's serious."

"Then why are you so sad?" he asked.

I sighed to myself. The only people I had told Keith about were my parents, and had yet to tell either of my siblings. I think, for me, the more people I told, the more real it felt. The more real the fact that I was going to lose Keith was going to happen. But tonight, sitting here with Zach, I felt like it was the time to tell him. I don't know why. "He's dying, Zach," I said, hating the way it came out more like a sob.

"Oh, shit," he whispered. I felt my face crumple like paper. "Nats, I'm sorry. So sorry." He sounded so sincere, and so sorry that I couldn't help myself and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I love him, Zach."

I felt him run comforting circles on my back. Any other day, it would have felt weird and awkward, but not now. Right now it was perfect; it was what I needed. "I know you do."

Neither of us said anything after that. We didn't need to. All I needed to know was that someone was there for me. And Zach, well, he was.

* * *

**A/N:** _I want to thank Purple Shamrock 17 for coming up with the idea on how Natalie got the second rose, and also for her amazing betaing skills! _

_Oh, and Chirpy wanted you all to know that he was sorry he couldn't appear in this chapter, he was too busy playing in the pond with his friends; however, he would be super happy if you all reviewed._


	3. Cloud Nine

**A/N: **_Hey, guys. I'm so sorry this took longer than three weeks. I promise that I will try my hardest to get chapter four up within two weeks, but I can't promise anything. Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed—they mean a lot to me!_

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* * *

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**Chapter Three: Cloud Nine**

The next few days went by quickly. It seemed that almost everyone at school was still on some after prom high. I was too, I guess. My happy mood, though, was really because Keith seemed to be feeling well. He hadn't complained once in the last few days about feeling sick. And that made me happy, _really_ happy.

It was late Wednesday night and just as I had gotten into bed, Keith called. I was unable to prevent the smile that graced my face as I heard him instantly ask, "What are you doing this weekend?"

"I haven't really thought about it," I answered. "Hanging out with you," I added seconds after. That's all I wanted to do. Spend time with Keith.

"Good," he said. "Because we're going somewhere."

"We are?" I asked, slightly curious and excited at the same time.

"Yup. We're leaving Friday after school, okay?"

"Keith," I laughed.

"What?"

"Don't you think you should tell me what we're doing? You know, give me the specifics?"

He sighed audibly. "Geez, partner, you and details." I was silent. "Okay, if you _must_ know, we're going camping."

"Camping?" I sputtered, quite surprised. I had no idea Keith had ever camped, or even liked to camp.

"Yes, camping. You do know how to camp, right?"

"Keith! Really?" I decided that he didn't need to know that the only camping experience I had had was in my backyard.

He chuckled, and all of the irritation that had built up inside me left as quickly as a flash of lightning. "Good. We're going with my dad and the campground's only like an hour away. We should be there by like six or so, we have to stop at the store and get supplies on the way."

"Supplies?"

"Yup."

"What kind of supplies?" I asked. What kind of supplies did one need when camping?

He huffed. "The most essential kind."

At this, I knew exactly what he was talking about. "Let me guess…food?"

"You hit the nail on the head, partner."

I grinned. "So, when will we back?"

"Well…Monday."

"Monday!" I said, shocked. "Keith, what about school?"

"We're not going," he said, as if this was the most obvious thing.

"We're not going?" I repeated. He _expected_ me to skip school? Was he crazy?

"Well, unless you can be in two places at once, which I would be quite jealous about by the way, no, we're not going."

"How can we _not_ go to school?" I asked, getting a little worried. I couldn't just purposefully miss school—what was he thinking?

"It's simple. You wake up and just…don't go. I know it'll be hard for you, partner, but I know you can do it."

I huffed audibly, my irritation coming back. "Can't we go after school ends for the summer? There's only like two and a half weeks left. Plus, what if I miss something important?"

"Partner, there _is _only two and a half weeks left. No teacher is going to give new information now. That would be just plain stupid. What kind of student pays attention in classes this close to the end of the year, _especially _if it'stheir senior year?"

"I do." He chuckled, and I glared at the phone, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "Stop laughing," I said, even though I really didn't want him to. "It's not funny," I added, trying my hardest to sound mad, as he continued to laugh mad; I didn't think it was really working.

"Is there a reason why we can't go after school ends? We can leave right after our last final, that Friday. We could even stay longer."

There was a chilling pause on the other end of the phone, and when Keith spoke, his voice was considerably less excited. "I don't think that'll work."

"Why not?" I asked, biting my lip in worry.

"It doesn't fit into my plans."

I felt dread fill my stomach. _Doesn't fit into my plans_. What did that mean? "What does that mean, Keith?" I asked aloud, a little more harshly than I intended, but his comment worried me. It worried me a lot.

He sighed deeply. "It means what it means. We have to go this weekend. So, can you go?"

Was there something he wasn't telling me? "Yeah," I relented. There had to be a good reason why he felt this weekend was the one, and I figured no matter how much I pressured him to tell me, he never would. "I can go." I wasn't exactly sure how I would convince my parents to let me take a day off school, since it was so close to finals, but I honestly didn't care. I would go no matter what. They could not take me away from Keith.

"Great!" he said, and I was never so glad to hear his voice become excited again.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," he said and before I had the chance to ask him more about the camping trip, he hung up. I figured he might have been a bit worried that I would change my mind.

I numbly sank down onto my bed. The conversation with Keith, for some reason, left me with a strange feeling—like someone had dumped a bucket of ice cold water over my entire body. It was extremely unnerving.

Was he trying to tell me that he didn't think he'd be around in a few weeks? I wanted to know why he would think that. Was he really not feeling as well as I had been thinking for the past few days?

Not being able to hold back my tears any longer, I grabbed my pillow—my only source of comfort –and cried, knowing that I'd probably find out what he meant sooner that I'd like.

* * *

I spent the next two days listening to Keith talk about camping. I swore I wore a huge grin on my face constantly; I just loved seeing Keith so happy and so excited.

After school on Friday, I met Keith at his house and while Henry packed my bag into the back of his truck, I went to find Keith. When I walked into his room, I saw him hastily throwing clothes into a duffel bag.

"You haven't packed," I stated.

He turned around to grin at me. "Partner, you're here," he said, affectively ignoring my question.

"I'm here," I said. "I did practically follow you from school."

He walked over to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek, before grabbing a few t-shirts from his dresser. He threw them carelessly into his bag, before heading into his bathroom.

I sat on the edge of his bed and waited for him to finish packing. Less than five minutes later, he dumped an armful of his toiletries into his bag. As he went to grab a sweater, my eyes caught at least a half a dozen bottles of pills. When he walked back over, he realized what I had been staring at, and quickly tossed in his sweater, before hastily zipping up his bag.

He didn't look at me after that and became strangely interested with something on his desk. He surprised me when a few seconds later, when he murmured, "They're just pills…for like if I get nauseous or something."

He still wasn't looking at me, but I could see the side of his face, which was red with what I assumed was embarrassment. I wasn't sure what the right thing to say was, so I just said, "It's okay."

Luckily, it seemed to be the right thing, because he turned and looked at me. Really looked at me—his green eyes staring right into mine. Honestly, it was a bit intimidating, his gaze on mine. It felt like he could read everything I felt and everything I wanted him to know. "Keith," I whispered, making sure I didn't take my eyes away from his.

"Yeah?" he said. I just smiled at him. I didn't really have anything to say. I just wanted to say his name, and hear him answer back to me. I wanted to know that he was here, with me. Still. I knew it was probably really stupid since he was standing right in front of me, but I couldn't help it. His voice soothed me somehow, like being able to hear it really told me that he was with me. "Ready?" he asked after a few seconds, figuring I wasn't going to say anything else to him.

I nodded and he grabbed my hand, pulling me off of his bed.

* * *

"Keith, do we _really_ need two bags of marshmallows?" I asked, as I watched him grab two huge bags of marshmallows and throw them into our cart.

He gave me a look, like I was insane or something, before walking down the aisle without saying a word. He didn't really need to; his expression had said it all.

Henry and I followed Keith to the next aisle, which were the chips. Keith stopped walking suddenly and turned to me expectantly and said, "What kind of chips do you want?"

"Um…" I started, trying to think of my favorite kind. There were too many. "I like them all," I finally replied, shrugging meekly at my pathetic answer.

He rolled his eyes. "That doesn't answer the question."

He continued to stare at me expectantly. "Okay," I finally said, walking down the aisle. I picked a bag of cheesy Doritos and asked, "How about these?"

He grinned and I knew I had chosen well. "And?"

"And?" I repeated.

He rolled his eyes. "Do you really think one bag of chips is enough? I could eat like five of these myself!" he exaggerated.

"Right," I smirked, before walking down the rest of the aisle, Keith grabbing a few bags of chips on the way (Cheetos and Fritos). I finally spotted a kind that caught my eye, and pointed them out to Keith.

He grabbed the bag and threw it into the cart. "Cheddar and Sour Cream. Great choice, partner."

After Keith was positive we got enough chips, we went and got pop (Pepsi and Mountain Dew), before we headed to the candy aisle. I swore his eyes got as wide as saucers as he glanced at all of the choices. He took a few moments debating, before he promptly grabbed some Skittles, M&Ms, Twizzlers, Starburst, and Hershey's bars (for s'mores).

Once Keith seemed content with our candy selection, we had to go get Twinkies and Beef sticks, which according to Keith were, "The most important snack…ever."

After he got the supplies for his snack, he turned to Henry and I and announced, "K, we're done."

Both Henry and I gave Keith an exasperated look. "What?" asked Keith. "Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"Keith," started Henry, "what do you think we're going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Candy and chips?"

"Why not?" he asked. "I'll let you in on a little secret," he started, lowering his voice. "Chips and candy, they're actually better for you than something like a sandwich. Healthy food is way overrated."

I giggled at that, and Keith smirked at me. "Is that so," said Henry. I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Absolutely," said Keith.

"Well," started Henry, grabbing the cart from Keith, "I think we should get some stuff…just in case our chips and candy diet doesn't work out."

Keith rolled his eyes, and grabbed my hand as we followed Henry to get the rest of our groceries.

We left the grocery store twenty minutes later, and while Henry was loading the groceries into the coolers in the bed of his truck, Keith and I got comfortable in the back. "You're the best, you know that?" I said to him, kissing him on his cheek.

"So are you, partner," he said, causing happiness to fill me. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

* * *

I was surprised to see how crowded the campgrounds were, considering that school wasn't out for the summer yet. Even though it was crowded, we were still able to find the perfect spot. It was right next to the lake, near some trees, so we weren't directly under the sun during the day.

I helped unload the food and other camping equipment while Keith set up our tent. Or I guess I should say _tried _to set up our tent. Even though he was having difficulty, he was adamant he could do it all by himself and didn't want Henry or I to help him.

After I finished unloading everything, and helped Henry set up his own tent, we grabbed some chairs and proceeded to watch Keith fight with the tent.

By the time Keith had finally gotten the tent together (which looked like it might fall apart if a large gust of wind passed by), Henry had already made a fire and was preparing our dinner. We were having hot dogs and baked beans. I wasn't sure if this was traditional camping food or something, so I kept my mouth shut, hoping to act like I knew exactly what we were doing.

But, when Keith handed me an uncooked hotdog, I couldn't prevent myself from giving him a confused look. Did he expect me to eat a raw hotdog? "Um…." I choked out, feeling incredibly embarrassed at just sitting there holding a raw hotdog.

Keith smirked at me before saying, "You've never been camping! You told me you've camped before."

"I have too!" I defended.

"Really?" he asked, while grabbing the hotdog from me and placing it on a metal skewer, before placing it in the fire. Now knowing what I was supposed to do, I grabbed the skewer from Keith quickly, before my hotdog caught on fire.

"Yes, I have been camping," I said casually, hoping my voice didn't betray me, even though I knew it did.

"Camping, really? Like what, in your backyard?" I felt a blush creep on my face; Keith noticed and suddenly said, "You _have_ only camped in your backyard! That's hilarious."

"So what? It's like the same thing," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I'm sure it is," said Keith as I watched him place his hotdog directly in the fire as he did mine. After a few minutes, it caught on fire and he lifted it out from the fire and let it burn for a while before blowing it out. "What?" he asked me as he placed it in a bun and began decorating it with mustard, ketchup, and relish. "It's the fast way to cook a hotdog."

"But it's completely black. It doesn't even look edible. Does it even taste good?"

"Yup, it's amazin'."

I rolled my eyes, if anyone liked burned hotdogs, it would be Keith. I watched my hotdog cook for a few moments before I looked at both Henry and Keith. "Well," I started, "what does one do when they are really camping?" I asked. "Opposed to being in their backyard."

Keith snorted, before taking a rather large bite of his hotdog. "First, there's actual water…"

"And?" I asked, as I began decorating my hotdog.

"And," said Keith, looking at me with a glint in his eyes, "you'll find out..."

* * *

After dinner, we all three just sat around the fire and talked. It was nearing eleven at night, when I noticed Keith had fallen asleep in his chair. I stared at him for a few minutes, wondering how he could even fall sleep in the position he was in. He had tried to fit his entire body on the tiny-fold out chair, but he hadn't been very successful. He didn't look comfortable at all.

"Can he fall asleep anywhere?" I asked, turning to look at Henry.

"Yup," he answered, a small smile gracing his face, "pretty much."

Neither of us said anything after that, and I went back to watching Keith's chest rise and fall. For some reason it was soothing, it let me know that he was still alive. Absentmindedly, I grabbed a stick that was on the ground and began tracing random designs on the dirt. The only noises were the crackling of the fire and Keith's deep breathing.

Just as I was beginning to think it was time to go to bed and that I should wake up Keith, Henry spoke up. "Natalie?" he said, so softly that I barely heard him at first.

"Yeah?" I asked, halting my tracing in the dirt to look at him.

"Does Keith," he started, but stopped himself as if trying to find the right words to tell me exactly what he wanted to say. "Has he ever talked to you about death? About him dying? About how he feels about it all?"

I shook my head. "No, he hasn't."

Henry sighed audibly before rubbing his face with the palm of his hand. "That's what I thought."

Curious to why he was asking me this, I said, "Why?"

"It's just, Al—his counselor, well, he use to be…" He stopped to swallow thickly. "He said that Keith never really talked about it. He told me this, because he thinks Keith needs to talk about it, or should at least. I've tried to talk to Keith about it…but every time I have, he either gets mad, ignores me, or worse, just gets really upset. I'm not sure if it's just 'cause I'm not the person he wants to talk about it with, or maybe he doesn't need to talk about it. I don't know. But, the thing is Natalie…"

"Yeah?" I prompted at his hesitation.

"I think if he does want to talk about it, you'd be the one he'd want to talk to."

"Really?" I asked, honestly shocked.

He gave me a small smile. "Yeah."

Still recovering from the shock of his statement, I began tracing designs in the dirt again. After a few moments I whispered, "I'll try and talk to him."

"Really? You would do that?"

I lifted my gaze up to glance at him. "Absolutely," I said.

"Thanks."

* * *

"Wake up, pumpkin love," I heard a soft voice whisper into my ear.

I snuggled further into my pillow, trying to block out Keith's voice and go back to sleep. It was way too early. When Keith called for me again, I knew he wouldn't leave me alone, until I said something. I cracked my eyes open, and mumbled, "Too early."

He grinned at me. "Did you know that you are _extremely_ cute in the morning?"

"Keith!" I said, trying to hit him. I was unsuccessful since I was still half asleep. "Stop it!"

He kissed me on the forehead. "Well, it's true…." He scooted closer to me. "So cute, in fact, you remind me of a teddy bear."

"A teddy bear? God, Keith!" I was able to hit him this time, even if it was just lightly.

"A very, very cute teddy bear…." he added, moving away from me before I could hit him.

"Shut up," I mumbled, grabbing his arm and pulling him down so he fell next to me. I snuggled up to his warm body.

We stared into each other's eyes, and Keith began running his fingers through my hair. "Dad's cooking breakfast. Eggs and bacon," he mentioned a few minutes later.

"Hmmm," I muttered, not making any move to get up.

"C'mon, partner," he said, trying to get me up, but I kept a strong grip on his arm. "Let's go eat 'cause we have a lot to do today."

"Like what?" I asked. Feeling excitement fill me, I sat up and began searching for my flip-flops.

"Things," he said, leaning towards me, and kissing me on the forehead, before exiting the tent.

After breakfast, we swam in the lake for a few hours, before Keith declared that he wanted to show me something. As he prepared lunch for us, I kept begging him to tell me where we were going.

"Partner," spoke up Keith, after I had begged him at least a half a dozen times. "You can beg all you want…you can even make that cute puppy dog face, but I am not going to tell you." I stuck my tongue at him, but he just smirked at me, before packing our lunch into his backpack.

The hike took us a solid hour, and just as I was about to ask Keith if we could rest for a minute, he stopped abruptly before turning around and gently covering my eyes with his hand. "Keith, wh—"

"Shhh…." he whispered. He was close enough to me that I felt his warm breath tickling my cheek. "Keep your eyes closed, all right?" When I nodded, he took his hand away from my eyes and grabbed my hand instead, pulling me forward. We walked a few feet when I heard it. The sound of water, which made me more anxious to see what secret place Keith was going to show me. "Open them," he finally whispered.

I inwardly gasped at the sight. Right in front of us was a small lake with a waterfall. It was absolutely beautiful. "How'd you know about this place?" I asked, turning to look at him. "It's beautiful."

He shrugged. "It's been here for years."

"It's amazing. I feel like I'm in a movie or something. I never knew something like this actually existed."

Keith gave me a small smile before saying, "You wanna go in?"

I nodded eagerly, and we quickly took our clothes off, revealing our bathing suits. We both stood at the edge of the lake, and I grabbed Keith's hand. "Ready?" I asked. He nodded and I counted to three before we jumped in.

The force of the jump caused us to let go of our hands, so I quickly resurfaced, expecting to see Keith, but I didn't. He was nowhere to be seen. "Keith!" I called. I was just about to call for him again when I felt something grab my legs, and I only had time to let out a loud, high-pitched scream before I was pulled under the water.

This time when I surfaced, Keith was there, laughing. He was laughing so hard I was afraid that he wasn't going to be able to catch his breath. "That," he started, but had to stop to continue laughing, "was hilarious. You screamed so loud."

I tried my best to glare at him. "Well, wouldn't you scream if someone grabbed you and started pulling you under the water?"

He didn't answer, only laughed which somehow seemed to echo around us all. He was making me a little mad, so I felt that I needed to get back at him. I wasn't sure if my plan was going to exactly work, but I thought it was better than anything. "Ah! Fish!" I screamed, trying to look extra frantic.

Keith rolled his eyes. "There wasn't a fish, partner."

I glared at him. "Yes there was! It was huge!" He just rolled his eyes at me again, and so I sneakily rubbed my leg against his, and as soon as I did that, he screamed and started splashing frantically to get way.

"There is a _huge_ fish in here," was all he said, still trying to swim away, but at the sound of my laughing he stopped, glanced at me for a few seconds, before understanding crossed his features. "You tricked me!"

I giggled. "You pulled me under the water!"

"So? That was different!"

"No it wasn't!" I said.

"Was too!"

"Was not!" I screamed, my voice echoing just as his laugh had. I splashed the water, hard, causing Keith to get momentarily distracted. I took it as my moment of escape.

The problem was, I was laughing too hard, and was unable to swim very fast, and Keith recovered and caught up to me quickly. "You're in trouble!" Keith said as he wrapped his arms around me, before dunking me under the water.

* * *

We swam for a few hours before we both got tired and hungry. After we ate, we laid on our backs, figuring that we should wait a while before we got back in the water.

We occupied our time by watching clouds travel by and coming up with what we thought they looked like. Of course, Keith always came up with ridiculous ideas.

"That one looks like a leaf," he commented, pointing to a cloud in the sky that looked nothing like a leaf.

"How can a cloud look like a leaf?" I admonished. "It looks more like a shoe or something."

He turned to look at me. "You think that," he pointed to the cloud again, "looks like a shoe?"

"Well, not exactly," I mumbled. "But it's _definitely_ not a leaf."

He just laughed, and we resumed our cloud gazing. It was a few minutes later when Keith said, "Hey, look at that one." He pointed towards my left.

I did so. "That kind of looks like a bird or something."

"Not any bird," he started. "That right there is our old friend, Chirpy."

I started at the cloud for a while, a little worried that I did kind of agree with him. "Yeah, it does look like Chirpy."

We fell into silence after that, and I was just about to fall asleep when Keith whispered into my ear, "Come find me…"

By the time I opened my eyes and sat up, he was gone. "Keith?" I called out.

I got no response, not that I was really expecting one. I glanced at my surroundings, trying to decide the best place to start, when I glanced at the lake, and to the waterfall. I knew exactly where he was. Quickly, I swam over to the waterfall, and when I appeared on the other side, my heart skipped a beat at the sight. It wasn't Keith that was standing there, but another rainbow rose, resting on a single rock in the water.

The water was only a foot or two deep, so I was able to walk up to the rose and pick it up. Carefully, I opened the note that was attached to it. It read: '_t'aimerai_.' Love you. My eyes built with tears as soon as I read the word. Quickly, I combined all of his notes together, which I had memorized, which now combined to say: _Partner, I will love you…_

I'm not sure how long I stood there, staring at the rose. This rose, it held more meaning to me than any of the other ones Keith had so far given me, because it was the first time he said, even if it wasn't out loud, that he loved me.

* * *

We left when the sun began going down. When we arrived back at our camping site, we were both happy to see Henry already cooking dinner as we were both starving. I felt kind of guilty that Keith and I had left Henry by himself all day, but when I voiced this to Keith, he told me that Henry didn't mind, which made me feel better.

After Keith and I changed into our pajamas, Keith went to go get us some Pepsi's, while I asked Henry if he needed help with dinner.

"Nope," he said. "I've got it covered."

"What're we having?" asked Keith as he plopped down in the chair next to mine, handing me a Pepsi, before he stuffed three cookies into his mouth at once.

"Well, it seems you're having cookies," stated Henry. "Natalie and I are having pizza."

Keith finished chewing before saying, "Why can't I have pizza?"

"Because you're filling up on cookies."

"Oh, please," said Keith, rolling his eyes. "That would _never_ happen." He turned to me, a smile on his face and said, "You're going to love the pizza. It's amazing."

And it was amazing. I honestly had never had such good pizza. I felt like a pig afterwards, eating more than three pieces. But I still kept room for dessert.

S'mores.

Keith and I put away the dinner stuff and grabbed the graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows. I was just about to proceed to make one for myself, when Keith placed his hand on my wrist and said, "I'll make you one, partner."

I grinned at him, curious to see how his s'mores would come out. I watched as he placed a marshmallow on the end of a stick and placed it directly into the fire. "Keith!" I screamed, pulling his arm back. "You're going to set the marshmallow on fire!"

He smirked. "That's the whole point…"

"Why would you want to purposely burn a marshmallow?"

"'Cause they're better that way."

"Oh, really?" I asked.

He nodded. "Just wait and see."

So I did. After the marshmallow was burnt enough, I watched as Keith began making the s'more. I burst out in giggles when the marshmallow stuck to his finger. By the time he handed me the finished s'more, I was incredibly curious to see what it tasted like, burnt marshmallow and all.

When I bit into it, I was aware that both Keith and Henry were staring at me, waiting to see my reaction. It was a bit intimidating, but once the gooey treat was in my mouth, I had to close my eyes at the taste.

It was amazing.

Upon opening my eyes, I saw Keith staring at me, an extremely proud grin adoring his face. "Well?" he asked.

"You're right, partner," I smiled, "burnt marshmallows do make them better."

* * *

After the s'mores, Henry went to bed, and Keith mentioned that he wanted to walk down to the lake. "Why?" I asked, as I followed behind him, flashlight in front of me.

"You'll see," he said. At the tone of his voice, I knew he had something up his sleeve, and I was trying to prepare myself for whatever it was he was going to have us do.

Instead of walking to the water's edge, he took me onto a wooden dock, where a few people had been fishing earlier in the day. It confused me at first, but when he just stared at the water, I thought that maybe he just wanted to stare at the view for a while. "It's so pretty," I whispered, standing up next to him. I went to go grab his hand, but before I had the chance, he was suddenly taking his shirt off. "Keith! What are you doing!" I hissed, glancing around me to see if there was any one else around.

He didn't answer, and when he threw his t-shirt on the ground and started taking off his pants, my eyes got wide and a million scenarios rushed through my mind on what he was planning on doing. "What are you doing?" I asked again.

"Skinning dipping," he said. "Sounds fun, huh?"

"Fun?" I asked. Was he crazy? There were probably a million people watching him right now. Plus, the water had to be freezing. I grabbed his hand. "Let's go back to the tent…" I said, hoping I'd stop him from taking off the remainder of his clothes.

He pulled his hand from my grip easily, and proceeded to take off his boxers. "C'mon, partner," was all he said, before jumping into the water.

He resurfaced seconds later, and I said, "Keith! People can probably see you!"

He laughed, and it caused my irritation to begin to lessen. "Na," he said, "I'm in the water…they can't see nothin'. Are you coming in?" he asked.

I bit my lip. Was I crazy for actually debating skinning dipping with Keith? "I don't know…" I said.

"Please," he pressed, bringing his lower lip out into a pout. A few seconds later, after not getting a response from me, he said, "If you don't come in, I'm either going to splash you…or come kidnap you and force you into the water with me."

"You wouldn't," I said, my voice weak with doubt. I had no doubt that he wouldn't do the things he said he would. "Fine!" I finally said. "But-but if some random guys see me…" I trailed off.

"They'll just be jealous of me," he said, smirking.

"God, Keith!" I said, as I felt a blush rise on my face. I was glad it was dark out, since he probably didn't notice. I took my clothes off in less than a minute, just wanting to get into the water. I didn't even warn Keith before I jumped into the lake, right next to him.

As I surfaced, arms wrapped around me, and when I opened my eyes I was staring into Keith's. I could see in his eyes how much he wanted me. I didn't say anything to him; I just took my time studying him. His wet hair was plastered to his forehead, and tiny trails of water were slowly sliding down his face. His lips were wet, making me want to kiss him. I rested my forehead against his, "Keith," I whispered.

He didn't respond, instead, he leaned closer to me so his lips were lightly touching mine. The touch of his lips felt light as a feather, but it still drove me crazy. Suddenly, and without warning, Keith began kissing me heatedly and passionately; it was as if we couldn't get enough of each other.

Feeling that I wasn't close enough to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to kiss him deeper. I felt drunk off of his kisses. At this, I felt Keith groan into my mouth, and he pulled away, and I took advantage to begin kissing him on his neck. "Tent," he practically moaned the word.

I was glad he requested this, because it was getting increasingly harder to continue trying to stay afloat. As quickly as we could, we swam to the edge of the lake. "Our clothes," I muttered, as Keith pulled me out of the lake.

As soon as I was standing, Keith began kissing me on the neck…shoulder…anywhere he could reach. "Get…them…later…" he muttered in between kisses.

I was about to state that there was no way I was going to walk back to our tent, no matter how close it was, in the nude. But, before I could, he bent down and grabbed an extra large towel that we had used earlier in the day and wrapped it around us.

Once we were both fully covered, we ran to our tent, almost tripping over each other's feet a few times. We were able to get into our tent without anyone seeing us, or waking up Henry.

In the tent, both still wrapped together in the cocoon the towel made, Keith suddenly stood very still, and while placing a loose strand of hair behind my ear, he said, "You're so beautiful…" He trailed off, his voice catching. He breathed in deeply before saying, his voice a bit tight, "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Keith," I started. In that moment, I wanted to tell him that he was _everything_ I wanted, and _everything_ I needed. That, I wanted him to be in my life forever, and that if I could, I would give anything for him to always be mine and to always be with me. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, and how he was perfect for me. But I couldn't. I don't think I could've said those words out loud, no matter how hard I tried. So, instead, I said, "You're amazing, too," before stepping on my tiptoes and capturing his lips with mine.

The force of my kiss must have surprised him, because he lost his balance and he fell on his back, me falling with him. Both of up started laughing, and I suddenly said, not begin able to stop myself, "I love your laugh." _I love you._

"My laugh?"

"Yeah," I said, feeling a tad bit embarrassed. "It's the best sound I've ever heard." And it was. To me, it signaled everything that was good. I wasn't not sure why.

"You're silly, partner."

I laughed slightly, before I bent down to touch my lips with his, ready to finish what we had started at the lake.

* * *

Keith and I spent Sunday swimming in the lake, riding in a paddleboat, and most importantly, going back to our sport.

I was pretty depressed when I woke up early Monday morning, knowing we'd have to leave in a few hours and also a little worried. Keith had started coughing the night before, but he kept telling me that it was _nothing _and he _didn't_ want me to tell Henry. At first, I was going to tell Henry, but by morning Keith wasn't coughing anymore and seemed to be feeling all right, so decided not to worry Henry over a little cough.

The last activity Keith wanted to do was watch the sun rise, so we woke up early, made a thermos of hot coffee and trekked up to the tallest hill we could find (which wasn't very tall).

Even though we weren't that high up, the view from the top was amazing. We could practically see the entire campground. It was beautiful. The sky had an orange red tint to it. I didn't ever remember seeing the sky look so beautiful.

After studying the view for a while, I began pouring both of us a cup of coffee. It was still early enough in the morning that there was a chill to the wind, and I wanted something warm to drink. Just as I took my first sip of coffee, Keith spoke up, "Thanks for coming camping with me, partner."

I handed him his cup, giving him a small smile. "It was a lot of fun," I said. I didn't think I needed to tell him that as long as I was with him,_ anything_ would be fun.

He took a sip of his coffee, and began inspecting his sweater and that was when I knew he wanted to talk about something serious. "I-I just want to thank you for just being there, for me. Not just coming here…but for always being there. It's—it's not going to be easy being with me…heck, it probably never has been easy being with me, but just thanks."

It was strange, because Keith was right, being with him was hard, because I _knew_ he was going to leave me, but then…being with him, it was also one of the easiest things I'd ever done. Granted, there had been many times when he had been a jerk and I did get annoyed with him, but I had never been with someone that made me feel amazing and beautiful and perfect just by being with them. Being with him felt right; it felt perfect. "I wouldn't want it any other way," I said—and it was the truth.

He bit his lip, and focused his gaze towards the lake. "You know," he started after a few moments, "I-I wouldn't hate you if you decide to leave when things get bad..."

"Bad? What do you mean by bad?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to know. "And why would you ever think I'd leave you?"

He turned to glance at me, giving me a tiny smirk, but to me it seemed like he was trying to use it to hide his true emotions from showing. "You know what I mean by bad, partner. Bad as in when I start to die."

The word hit me so hard I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Hard. "Keith, don't—" I started, wanting to tell him to not bring his death up, but then I remembered the conversation Henry and I had and instead I said, my voice soft and shaky, "Are-are you scared, Keith? Of-of…dying?"

I could tell by the expression that graced his face that he was shocked at my question, but I also thought that I might have seen some relief, whether he physically felt it, I would never know. "Scared?" he finally repeated. He heaved a big sigh before saying, in a quiet voice, as if he was scared to admit it, "Yeah, I guess I am." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before he asked, "Do you think that's stupid?"

I felt tears prickle the back of my eyes at his question. "It's not stupid at all. I think you'd be surprised to see how many people are scared of death." _I_ was scared of death.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, really," I said, hoping that he believed me. "Wh-what about death scares you?" I asked, wondering if he was ready to be forthcoming enough with me to answer my question.

He was quiet for a while, and at first I suspected that he didn't want to answer it, but then he spoke up. "I don't know…. everything," he said, giving a dry laugh. "I mean, I'm scared that it's going to hurt. I'm scared that I'm not going to know what's going on…."

"Do you think about it a lot?" I whispered.

"Yeah," he said, "I do. I mean," he said, taking in a deep breath. "More than I probably should." I was about to say something, but he surprised me and said, "You know what's weird?" he spoke up. "I think about what I'll miss the most…and you know what?"

"What?" I asked, trying my hardest to keep my composure. For him.

"It's not something like food or driving or movies. It's the simple things, like the smell of Christmas, the sound of the wind…the way everything smells after it rains…" His voice caught then, and I could see his chin wobbling like he was trying hard not to cry. I almost lost it then. I didn't say anything; I didn't need to. He breathed in deeply, composing himself before he said, "Of course, though," he started, staring right into my eyes. "I'll miss you the most…and Dad."

"Keith…"

I think he could see the tears blurring my vision, so he quickly said, "Don't cry, please…" He pulled me close to him, so my head was resting on his shoulder. "Look," he pointed ahead, "the sun's rising."

I snuggled up closer to him, grabbing his hand and intertwining our fingers together, while the both of us watched the sun rise. Right now, I was with Keith, and to me, that was all that mattered.

"Thanks for talking to me, partner," said Keith after a few minutes.

I squeezed his hand, before saying, "Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"I will _never_ leave you."

* * *

**A/N:** _Just so everyone knows, I am not fluent in French, I have actually never taken a French class in my life, so this is a disclaimer of sorts to let you guys know that it is very likely my French is wrong. I did do a lot of research to hopefully get it as close as I possibly could, but there is only so much a translator can do… Also, if anyone is confused, Natalie never got a note that said the word '_will_'. The word _will_ is in the note that she got in this chapter (_t'aimerai), _which means: will love you__…I really hope that makes sense. If you have any questions let me know!_

_Thanks to Purple Shamrock 17 and m81170 for being amazing betas!_

_Chirpy says that flying in the clouds is fun and that he says that Keith says that reviews make him happy…so please review._


	4. My Last Breath

**A/N: **_Hey, guys! Here's chapter four, finally. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I love them!_

**Warning:**_ There is a character death in this chapter._

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* * *

_

**Chapter Four: My Last Breath**

"Partner?"

"What?" I whispered, alternating between glancing at Keith and Mr. Miles. Why did Keith always have to talk during class? It had been a week since we had returned to school from camping and Keith and me (well, mostly me), had been cramming the past week for finals.

"Let's go bowling." He had a certain mysterious glint in his eyes. It made me both nervous and excited. "Tonight."

"Bowling?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes, bowling." He rolled his eyes. "You know with lanes and pins."

"Keith, we have to study. We'll go after finals, okay? We only have one week left of school." I went to turn back to face the front of the classroom, but Keith quickly grabbed my arm to stop me.

"C'mon, partner. Please?" At my face he quickly added, "We've never gone bowling. We _have_ to go bowling. We have to…before it's too late."

"Keith," I said, leaning over my desk so I was close enough to him that I could see the different shades of green in his eyes, "We're _saving_ _that_."

He gave me a sad smile, before his face turned serious and he said, "You can't save things forever, Natalie."

"Why not?" I breathed.

He didn't answer this, only said, "This is the last thing I want to do."

"Don't talk like that," I pleaded.

"Please?" The way he asked this, there was no way I could say no.

"Okay," I finally relented. "Let's go bowling."

"Great," he said, giving me one of his lopsided grins. "Meet me at my house at seven."

* * *

Just as it turned seven, I got to Keith's. I went to pull into his driveway like usual, but something was blocking it.

A bowling ball set.

Biting back a smile, I parked my car on the side of the road. As I walked up the driveway, I caught Keith casually leaning against his truck; the same position he was in the night he picked me up and we ended up having our goodbye scene. I walked up to him, wrapping my arms around him. "I thought we were going to a bowling alley."

He laughed. The laugh I loved. "Who said that?"

"Isn't that normally where one goes when bowling?"

"Really?" he asked, his voice raising an octave higher. "Huh, that's strange. I've never been to a bowling alley."

"Stop it," I said, pulling away from him so I could lightly hit him on his chest.

He chuckled, before bending down and kissing me on the lips. I melted into his kiss; I never _ever_ wanted to stop kissing him. I would be perfectly happy doing nothing else, as long it was with Keith. "Ready to play?" he asked, pulling away from our kiss a few seconds later.

I kissed him once more on the lips before saying, "I'm _so_ ready."

* * *

"How is it possible that you got a strike almost _every single time_, and I didn't get _one_?" I asked, as I watched my bowling ball completely miss all of the pins. I swore that Keith had deliberately done something to the ground or something so I wouldn't get a strike. Or hit any of the pins for that matter.

"You know, partner. You must _really_ suck at bowling, because anyone can get a strike with a plastic bowling ball set. I bet you a three-year-old could've done better than you."

I watched as my bowling ball drifted near the front of his house, before I turned around to face him. "I'm your girlfriend! You should never say I suck at something!"

"You're right, I shouldn't have said that," he said, walking towards me, placing his hands on my waist, and pulling me close to him. "Partner, I think that you're bowling skills are…_subpar_."

"Keith!"

"What?" He gave me an innocent look, and I couldn't think of anyway to respond to him so I just huffed loudly. "So, you wanna bowl again?"

"No," I said. "I don't think I want to play with someone who calls my bowling skills _subpar_."

He laughed. "Well, then, in that case, I guess it's time for our snack."

"Snack?" I asked, as he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards his truck. "I guess I should've assumed," I added.

Once we were lying on our backs in the bed of his truck, our feet dangling over the side, he handed me a Twinkie. "No beef sticks?" I asked, not that I really minded. It wasn't that the snack was bad; it was just, well, different.

"Well," he started, "I had some, but I ate them all." I just laughed, while unwrapping my Twinkie.

Once Keith finished his Twinkie, he turned to me. "What?" I asked, noticing that he was smirking at me.

"You have something, right here," he said, as he gently wiped the top of my nose with his finger. He grinned at me, before his face suddenly turned serious. "Partner?"

"Yeah?" I asked, slightly concerned that his mood had changed so quickly.

"I-I wanted to ask you something…"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Can you make sure, once I'm gone, that Dad is okay? I know how hard it was for him to deal with Mom's death, and I'm just worried that he won't be able to deal with mine. I'd like to know that he'd at least have someone to be there for him. I'm all he really has."

"Of course I will," I said.

He gave me a thankful smile. "Thanks, partner."

I bit my lip as I debated whether or not to ask Keith a question—one I knew was pretty sensitive. Before I could tell myself that it was a bad idea, I just asked, "Keith—how'd your mom die?"

He was quiet for a few seconds, and when he spoke, his voice held a sadness in it that wished I could take away. "She died of cancer three years ago."

"I'm so sorry," I breathed.

"It's okay. I'll get to see her soon, right?" I wanted to yell at him for saying something like that, for hinting at his death, but I didn't because he seemed strangely comforted by his statement.

So all I did was whisper, even though it was difficult, "Yeah, you will." I was silent as I finished my Twinkie before I said, "Keith?"

"Uh-huh." He sounded half asleep.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Yellow," he said, taken aback. "Why?"

"I want to get to know you—as much as I can," I explained.

"You already know me," he whispered.

"I know, but I want to know _everything_. Every little detail." He looked at me expectantly, so I asked, "What about your favorite season?"

His expression turned thoughtful. "Summer," he said. "Because I can work on my truck all the time, and there are truck shows. What about you?"

"Me?"

"You can't ask all the questions! That wouldn't be fair!"

"Okay, fine. My favorite season is winter."

"Really? Why?" asked Keith. "That's the worse season! The driving conditions are always horrible and it's cold!"

"Does everything you like have to do with driving?"

"Uh…pretty much," said Keith, rolling his eyes.

"And just so you know, I like winter because I love getting snow days so I can read all day…" I moved closer to Keith. "So," I started, "are you are a cat or dog person…"

* * *

I glanced down the hall for what seemed like the millionth time. Where was Keith? Class had let out ten minutes ago and he still hadn't met me by my locker. He _always _met me by my locker before lunch, so I had a reason to feel so worried. I was just about to go search for him, when I glanced to my right and saw him walking towards me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey," I said. "Where were you?" I smiled, as he got closer.

"Around."

I rolled my eyes; leave it to Keith to give me the most ambiguous answer. As he got closer to me, my smile immediately turned to a frown. He was pale and his hands were shaking slightly; this was a stark contrast to how he looked a few hours ago. "Are you all right?" I asked.

"I'm fine," he said quickly. He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"You feel okay, right?"

He ignored my question and finally looked me in the eyes and asked, "Are we gonna go eat?" At my look he sighed and said, "I'm fine, okay?"

I nodded, knowing that no matter how much I argued with him, he would still tell me that he was 'fine.'

He grabbed my hand as we walked to the cafeteria. We found a table near a large window; it had been raining since yesterday so we hadn't been able to sit outside at our normal spot. I was halfway through my lunch when I realized that Keith hadn't even opened his; instead, he was resting his head against the window.

"Keith, maybe you should go to the nurse's office," I said. He really wasn't looking too good.

"No," he mumbled, heaving a big sigh. "I just have a headache." He wouldn't look me in my eyes, confirming to me that he was lying.

"Maybe you could go lie down for a while. I'm sure it'd be okay."

"I don't need to lie down!" he said, huffing loudly as he sat up and opened his lunch. He seemed uninterested in his food, and only took out a can of Pepsi.

"You would lie down, if you needed to, right?"

He took a sip of his pop before turning to me and saying, "Of course, partner." I could tell he was getting aggravated with me.

For now, his answer was good enough for me. I went back to eating my lunch while Keith went back to resting his head against the window. The bell rang ten minutes later and we made our way to chemistry. I was glad we had class together so I could watch him.

A half hour into class, while Mr. Miles was lecturing on the final, Keith suddenly stood up, "Where are you going?" I whispered.

"Be right back," was all he said, before he weaved his body through the desks and walked out of the classroom.

Fifteen minutes later, and no sign of Keith, I was about to get up and go find him, but then he returned. As soon as I saw him, I knew that he was feeling worse. When he sat down in his chair, I said, "Are you okay?" I knew it was a stupid question to ask, as it was pretty obvious that he wasn't, but I didn't know what else to say.

"I think I need to go home." He rested his head on his desk before continuing, "I just threw up. I think I have the flu or something."

"Shit," I said, my hands began to shake with worry. "Do you want go to the nurse's office?"

He shook his head adamantly. "I don't want to deal with her. Can't you just take me home? I think I just need to lie down for a while, then I'll be fine."

At that request, I knew he must have been feeling really bad since he asked me to drive him home, even though he had driven to school this morning. "Yeah, sure," I said. I began frantically putting my books in my bag.

When Keith and I stood up, Mr. Miles looked at us curiously, but I just mouthed, 'Keith's sick,' and understanding crossed his features. He let us leave without a word.

Keith was quiet as we walked to my car. I was glad no one had seen us leave the school. "Keith," I started once we were driving out of the parking lot. "I'm really worried. Is it normal to suddenly get sick like this?"

"Well, the thing is, I didn't just start feeling sick…"

"You've been feeling sick all day, haven't you?" I couldn't help the anger that was in my voice.

He moaned and said, while resting his head against my window, "Maybe…" I quickly turned to glare at him. "Fine, I was sick last night, okay? But I felt a bit better this morning, so I didn't think it was worth mentioning."

"What did your dad say?" I asked. If Henry let him come to school, and gone to work himself, it couldn't be that bad, right? When Keith didn't answer this question, however, I felt anger rise inside me. "You didn't tell your dad, did you?" I hissed.

"It wasn't that bad last night, I'm tellin' you. I was only sick once. If I would've told Dad, he would've freaked out and made me go to the doctor, and I _really _don't want to go to the doctor."

This made really mad. Didn't he realize that, in his condition, being sick _was_ something to worry about? "Keith, you _need_ to tell you're dad about it. This could be serious! Do you not realize you have a lower immune system or does that not mean anything to you?"

"Oh, really," he started, sarcasm dripping from his words. "I hadn't realized that. Thanks for reminding me."

_Shit._ "Keith, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I know you're right I just…I hate always being sick."

He looked so apologetic that I couldn't bring myself to yell at him anymore. "You do know you're telling your dad _everything_, right? Like as soon as we get to your house, you're calling him."

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled. "He's going to be really pissed." I was about to say something, but he spoke up before I could. "And don't say I should've told him I was sick last night. I know I should've, and I know it was stupid to hide it, but is it such a crime to want to act normal? If I told him, he would've made me stay at home, and then I would spend all day in the hospital, doing stupid tests that I don't want to take, which in the end, don't make a difference."

A familiar prickling sensation built behind my eyes, and I had to take a few moments to compose myself. "I understand, Keith," I said. I _could_ understand where he was coming from—all he ever wanted to be was normal, and have what most people took for granted.

A little more time.

* * *

Keith was right. Henry was pissed. Really pissed.

"I _trusted_ you!" Henry yelled as soon as he walked into Keith's room, ten minutes after Keith had called him. Keith was lying on his bed, looking completely out of it as Henry continued to yell at him. "I trusted you to tell me when you weren't feeling well! I let you still go to school, because you _promised_ you wouldn't go when you felt bad. You promised me that your health was your number one priority! Why do you always act like you're invincible? You need to realize that you're not like everyone else. You're sick."

Before Keith could answer, he jumped up from his bed and made a beeline to the bathroom, making it just in time to start throwing up in the toilet. "Goddamnit, Keith!" yelled Henry, as I ran over to Keith and began rubbing circles on his back. "You lied to me! I'm not ready to los—"

Shakily, Keith pulled away from the toilet and leaned up against the wall. "Dad, _please _stop yelling at me. I don't feel well and I just don't want to deal with this right now," he stopped to rub his forehead with the back of his head. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Frowning, Henry said, "I'm sorry, too," before walking out of Keith's room. As soon as Henry left, Keith looked relieved and stood up, making his way back to his bed.

He got under the covers and just as he closed his eyes. Henry came walking back in fifteen minutes later and whispered, "Keith."

"What?" he moaned clearly upset at for Henry waking him up when he was so close to sleep.

"I talked to your doctor. He said that you don't need to come in today, but you have an appointment tomorrow at nine."

"No," moaned Keith. He looked so upset that my heart went out to him. A doctor's appointment was the last thing he wanted to do. "I'll be fine tomorrow. Please, don't make me go," he pleaded.

"Well," started Henry, "if you wake up tomorrow miraculously better, then we'll talk about it. But right now, you're _going_."

Keith gave me a pleading look, but I just shrugged my shoulders. There was _no way_ he was going to get me to try and argue with Henry about him going to the doctor. Keith noticed the expression that graced my face because he weakly glared at me, before closing his eyes again.

As soon as he was asleep, Henry glanced at me and said, "Would you mind driving me to school on your way back? I need to pick up Keith's truck. I want to get it before he wakes, because once he realizes it's gone, he'll do anything to go get it back."

"Sure," I said, "I have one more class, so I'll probably come back after, to see how he's doing, if that's all right."

"Absolutely," he said.

While I kissed Keith on the forehead, Henry hurriedly wrote Keith a note explaining where he was, in case he woke up.

Fifteen minuets later, I was parking my car next to Keith's truck. "Thanks, Natalie," said Henry as we got out of my car.

"No problem." I closed my car door, and was about to head back into the school when I turned back to Henry. "Henry?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"He's—Keith's—" I had to stop and swallow thickly. "Keith, he's probably not going to be coming back to school, is he?"

Henry sighed. "No, Natalie, I-I don't think so. I-I think—" _That this is _it, my mind screamed, but I kept quiet and waited for Henry to finish. "I think he's going to be sick for the next few days. See ya later, Natalie, and thanks again."

And before I could respond, he was already driving away.

* * *

I had planned to go to history; I really had. But when I got to my locker to get my book. I couldn't do it. I couldn't see myself walking into my classroom, listening to my teacher talk about stuff that was in the _past_, when I was too focused on what was happening _now_.

I was too focused on the fact that my boyfriend was going to die. That he was dying.

I'm not sure how long I stood in front of my locker, trying to decide what to do. I knew I couldn't go to history. But, then again, going back to Keith's almost seemed more difficult.

I think it had a lot to do with the fact that I had never really seen him sick, but today I had and I didn't like it. It showed me how _real_ everything was.

Without really realizing it, I suddenly found myself sliding down the lockers and onto the floor. I'm not sure how long I sat there, deep in thought, before I heard my name being called.

I glanced up to see Brooke standing there, looking surprisingly concerned. "Hi," I said, taking my gaze away from hers and picking at a random piece of the carpet.

"Are you all right?"

I was about to lie and say I was fine, but I couldn't get the words out and instead felt tears fill my eyes as I finally croaked out, "No…not really."

"What-what's wrong?" I was silent, and surprised when she sat down next to me. "You can tell me you know."

"Yeah," I said. She _really _was still my best friend and right now I needed her. I needed her a lot. "The thing is Brooke…Keith," I stopped to take a deep breath. "He's dying. He has cancer." I couldn't look her in the eyes in fear that I would break down.

I heard her gasp. "I'm _so_ sorry," she said. "Why-why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged again. "I dunno…I-I just didn't think you'd understand."

"Why wouldn't I understand?" she asked, looking extremely hurt.

"I don't know," I said, close to tears. "Do the names 'freak' and 'psycho' ring any bells to you?"

"Shit," she said, sucking in her breath. "I deserved that."

At this, I finally turned to look at her. Her face was a mix of shock, surprise, and sadness. "Why would I tell you about Keith when you made it _blatantly _obvious that I shouldn't be with him? I felt like I couldn't tell you because you just wouldn't get it…you wouldn't get Keith and I."

"What did you expect me to think, Natalie?" I was surprised to see that her eyes were getting a bit glossy. "You _changed_ once you started hanging out with him…I just wanted to help you. I didn't want you to ruin your life for him…" She blinked rapidly before saying, "I thought we were _best_ friends. Did you really think I would have made fun of you and Keith? Or that I wouldn't have approved?" She stopped to take in a deep breath before saying, "Do you really think that I'm that bad of a person? That-that I wouldn't care that Keith was dying? If you would've just come to me, explained everything, instead of pushing me away, I could've been there…I would've understood."

I couldn't stay mad at her. Not that I had really been mad at her. Right now, I needed her. More than anything. "I'm sorry," I said, and the tears I had been trying to hold back finally came forth. "I just didn't know what to do. I fell in love with him, Brooke. Completely and helplessly in love with him. Like in those stupid romance movies. And then I found out…and I just didn't know what to do. I still don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing a part of myself. I'm sorry." I let out a loud sob.

She immediately wrapped her arms around me pulled me close. "I'm sorry, too," she whispered. I knew that she wasn't just sorry about _our_ misunderstanding, but for everything.

* * *

"_I won't take it_!" I heard Keith scream as I walked into their house.

Concerned, I halted in the living room, not sure if it was my place to interrupt them. It wasn't long before Henry walked out of Keith's room. "Hey," I said. "Sorry, I just walked in…the door was open."

"It's fine," said Henry, trying to give me a smile; I could tell it was forced.

"What's going on?" I whispered.

"He won't take his oral chemo medication," said Henry in a pain filled voice. "I found out that he hasn't been taking them for the past few days. He just threw them at me. Can you believe that?" he said, seeming rather shocked. "I guess it's good to see he still has a little spunk left in him," he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Why won't he take them?" I asked.

Henry shrugged before he leaned against the counter; it seemed as if it was the only thing holding him up. "He said he's sick of taking medication that isn't helping him, and if I wanted him to take them I'd have to stuff them down his throat."

"Oh," I said, not sure how to respond.

"I don't know what to do, Natalie. I'm his _dad_. I'm supposed to help him, take care of him, and the only thing I can do is give him pills that obviously aren't working, and make sure he's comfortable. Shit load of help I am."

"Henry," I started. "Don't—don't do this to yourself. You're doing everything you can."

He rubbed his head with his palm. "I can't do this. I can't see him like this. I've already had to watch Sandra die, and now I have to watch our son die. It's _tearing _me apart." He stopped, keeping his gaze firmly on the counter; He looked extremely close to tears. "I-I need to go clear my head, can you watch him for me?"

"Yeah," I said. "No problem." He didn't even look at me as he quickly made his way out of the house. I breathed in deeply, trying to gain my composure before I walked into Keith's room. He was leaning up against his headboard, watching the Speed channel.

I tried not to take notice how much worse he looked since I had seen him during lunch. Once I was sitting next to him, he said, "Is Dad mad at me?"

"No," I whispered. "He's not mad at you."

He turned to look at me. "Positive?"

"Yup, positive. He's just…upset."

"Okay," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make him upset. I just don't want to take the pills. They just make me feel worse." He turned back to his show, but could barely keep his eyes open.

"Keith?"

"Yeah?" he mumbled.

"Can you _please_ take your medicine?"

"No," he moaned, as he rested his head on my shoulder.

"Why not?"

"I'm tired, partner," he whimpered, causing my heart to melt. "I'm just _tired_."

* * *

While Keith took a nap, I helped Henry make dinner. It wasn't anything fancy—chicken soup for Keith and grilled cheese sandwiches for us. Keith was still feeling pretty poorly when Henry woke him up for dinner, so we all crowded into his room. Luckily, he was feeling okay enough to join in on casual conversation.

Once we finished eating (I tried not to worry about how little Keith ate), I turned to Henry and said, with a small smile, "So, tell me some stories about Keith…when he was little."

A grin grew on Henry's face and Keith said weakly, "Dad, nothing embarrassing."

Henry looked over to Keith. "I'm your father, it's my parental right to be able to tell embarrassing stories of you to your girlfriend."

Keith just glared.

Henry put his dishes on the floor, before leaning back against his chair. "All right, I've got a funny one for you…"

* * *

"_Dad, when am I gonna be able to fly like Superman?" asked a five-year-old Keith, who was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of Spaghetti O's. Although, it was hard to say how much he was consuming since most of it seemed to be on his face, hands, and the table._

"_Not until you're older," said Henry as he finished cleaning some dishes._

"_But I'm old now!" he whined, while dumping both of his hands into his bowl before leaning his head back and stuffing two fistfuls of Spaghetti O's in his mouth._

"_Keith," said his mom, Sandra, walking into the kitchen. "What did I say about eating food with your hands?" Keith didn't answer, too busy with his food. Sandra turned to face her husband. "Henry, why are you letting him eat like that?"_

"_He's a boy," he said, shrugging. "He likes to use his hands."_

"_He's not learning any table manners that way," she said._

_Henry just shrugged, at this; it didn't really bother him. _

"_Guess what, Mom?" said Keith. _

"_What, sweetie?"_

"_Dad says that when I get older, I'm gonna fly like Superman!" He gave her a huge smile. "Isn't that gonna be cool? Maybe I'll even be able to fly _with_ Superman. Wouldn't that be cool? Wait…do you think I'll have to take flying lessons? Maybe I should start practicing…just in case…"_

"_Henry," hissed Sandra, as Keith continued to rapidly talk about Superman and how, when he got older he was going to _be just like him_. "Why do you keep encouraging him to fly! One day he's going to jump of the roof and break his neck."_

"_He's not going to do that."_

"_He's five years old! He still eats with his hands! You need to tell him that it's dangerous, before he hurts himself!"_

"_Okay, okay," said Henry. "I will."_

"_Now," she growled._

"_Fine," said Henry. He walked over to the kitchen table and sat across from his son. Keith had momentarily stopped talking about Superman to blow bubbles through his straw into his juice. "Hey, Keith, we need to talk."_

"_About what?"_

"_You see…Superman…he's spec—not everyone can do what Superman does."_

"_Okay," said Keith._

"_Which means, that not everyone will be able to fly…"_

_At this, a crestfallen expression graced Keith's face. "You told me I'd be able to fly!"_

"_Keith, that's not what I'm saying…"_

_Keith didn't bother to listen; instead, he jumped out of his seat, the Superman cape he was wearing flying up behind him, and screamed at Henry, "I'm gonna fly like Superman! You can't stop me! You'll see! And I'm not gonna teach you!" before he ran out of the kitchen._

"_Well, that went well," said Henry, turning to Sandra. At her look, he said, "What?"_

"_You weren't supposed to tell him he_ couldn't_ fly! Just that he needed to be careful."_

"_Oh," said Henry. "Shit."_

…

_Two days later, Henry was busy changing the tires on his truck. When he stood up, he saw Keith climbing onto of one of the trucks. Thinking nothing of it, as this was not out of the norm, he moved to the other side of his truck. But just as he was about to bend down and replace another tire, he saw it; it was as if it happened in slow motion._

_Keith jumping off the top of the truck, his Superman cape flying behind him._

_His blood went cold as he saw Keith jump off. Before he even registered it, he was running towards Keith, waiting for the awful sounds of his son's scream to break the silence, but instead he heard, "Did you see that, Dad? Did you, did you? _Did you?_ I _flew_! Just. Like. Superman."_

_Falling to the ground he began to check Keith over. "Do you hurt anywhere? Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine, Dad!" said Keith laughing. "But did you see? I flew like Superman!"_

_

* * *

_

"Oh my God," said Natalie. "That is the cutest story I have ever heard." She turned to Keith. "You were such an adorable kid."

Keith blushed. "I was _not_."

"He was pretty darn cute," said Henry, which only made Keith's blush deepen.

"So," started Natalie, "can we hear another one?"

"_Another one_?" moaned Keith.

"Just one more, promise," said Natalie. She turned to Henry. "Tell me your favorite memory of Keith."

"All right," said Henry. "I know exactly which one that is…"

* * *

_They were spending the day at Six Flags. And little did Henry know that it would be one of the best days of his life._

_He and Keith spent the morning riding all kinds of different rides (Tea Cups, The Little Dipper) and eating lunch (chicken nuggets and fries). Towards the end of the day, with Keith covered and sticky with candy, they began making their way towards the exit, until Keith saw it._

_A new ride: Big Red Cars._

"_Dad, please, please go on this with me!" He grabbed his Henry's hand and practically pulled him towards the ride._

_They didn't have to wait long, since the park was closing soon, and were soon getting in the ride. A shiny bright red car. Keith was the driver, Henry the passenger. The car was on track, which made kids think that they were actually the ones driving._

_As soon as the ride started, a huge smile grew on Keith's face, as he gripped the steering wheel tightly with his tiny hands; Henry couldn't help but smile with him. "I'm drivin', Dad! Look!" _

"_You're doing an excellent job," he praised. _

_The ride took them through trees, under bridges, and through towns. And Keith did not stop grinning._

_That is, until the ride stopped._

"_I wanna go again!" Keith screamed as Henry tried to help him out of the car. "I wanna go again."_

_The employee running the ride walked over to Henry. "There really isn't a line. He can go again if he wants."_

"_Okay, Keith," said Henry, glancing over to Keith. "This man says you can go again."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yup," said Henry, as he got back into the car._

_So, they went on the ride again._

_And again._

_And again._

_And probably would not have stopped, but the employee notified them that the park was closing._

"_Okay, Keith," said Henry, as he got out of the car. "We need to go now." He went to help Keith out, but Keith wrapped his small arms around the steering wheel and wouldn't let go._

"_NO!" he cried. If Henry could've, he would have ridden the ride with Keith all night if it would have gotten rid of his son's frown. _

"_I'm sorry, son, but the park's closing. We gotta go. Mom's gonna have dinner ready soon."_

"_No! I wanna drive! I wanna drive more!" he screamed, and suddenly big fat tears were rolling down his face. _

_Now, a group of people was beginning to stop and stare at Keith. Not knowing what else to do, Henry grabbed Keith around the waist and tried to lift him out of the car. But, Keith, for the life of him, would not let go of the steering wheel._

_Finally which seemed like hours to Henry, Keith's screaming and tears began to tire him out, and his grip loosened on the wheel. Henry took this moment to snatch Keith up. This only caused Keith to start crying louder, as he wrapped his small arms around Henry's neck._

_He cried all the way out of the park, muttering through his tears that he wanted to drive more._

_When Henry finally got Keith into his truck, he kneeled down so that he was eye level with his son and said, "Keith, I'll make you a promise."_

"_W-what?" He was crying so hard that he could barely catch his breath._

"_I promise you, that when you're old enough, I'll buy you a car. A truck even."_

_Keith's crying immediately stopped. "R-really?"_

"_Really."_

"_Then I can drive as much as I want?"_

"_Yup, as much as you want."_

"_Can it be yellow?"_

"_Of course it can."_

"_Thanks, Dad! You're the best dad ever!" said Keith, who flung himself at Henry, wrapping his arms around his dad's neck._

_As Henry hugged Keith back, he could only smile to himself._

_Keith loved cars. _

_Keith loved to drive._

_Keith was going to be just like him._

_

* * *

_

"Dad," said Keith. "I _did not_ cry that hard!"

"Oh, yes you did," replied Henry, smiling. "You were the center of attention at the whole park. I'm surprised no one stopped me to see what was wrong with you."

"So," I started, "that's the first day you realized that Keith was going to love cars and trucks just as much as you." I smiled.

"Yup," said Henry. "Like I said, one of the best days of my life."

"And apparently," spoke up Keith, "one of my most embarrassing."

"It was cute," said Natalie.

"Well, I think it's time you go to bed," said Henry. "You're still sick."

"Yeah, I know, Dad," said Keith, yawning. "I think the shitty way I feel is enough of a reminder."

While Henry gave Keith some medicine to help him sleep, I gathered all of my stuff, before I walked over to Keith to say goodbye. "Hey," I said. He was already half asleep. "Keith?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I have to go home," I frowned. "I need to study for some finals. I promise I'll come see you tomorrow, all right?"

"Okay," he said, eyes falling closed.

"Are you sure it's okay? I can stay here…"

His dragged his eyes open and stared into mine for a few seconds before he gave me a soft smile and said, "Go."

* * *

I had only been asleep for a few hours when my cell phone rang. Wondering who was calling me so late, I glanced at the screen on my phone. As soon as the number registered, my blood went cold. "H-hello?" I answered.

"He's gone."

_He's gone._ The words repeated in my mind and I couldn't get them to stop. "H-Henry?"

"He's just _gone_," his words came out half as a sob.

"What-what do you mean by gone?"

"He's in a better place now."

"He-he can't be gone!" I said. "He just can't, Henry."

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice strained. "I'm so so sorry, Natalie. I didn't realize he was so sick. I should've taken him to the doctor. I—"

"How-how did this happen? When did he—" I couldn't bring myself to speak the word. The word I _hated_, _despised_.

"I'm not sure. He was sick again in the middle of the night, and once he felt better he wanted me to sit with him while he tried to fall asleep. I-I fell asleep and-and I woke with this awful feeling…and he was just gone…" I could hear him sobbing on the other end. Loud, deep, and heartbreaking sobs.

At first, I couldn't move—I was too shocked. But then, the reality of it all hit me with full force. It was the worse feeling…ever. Without thinking, I suddenly threw my phone at my wall.

Keith was gone.

Forever.

I'm not sure why, but anger consumed me. I picked up everything I could find (pictures, books, shoes) and just threw them. Wanting them to break, to be broken just like me.

I was so angry at it all. At everyone. At everything. I was pissed at Mr. Miles for partnering us, I was pissed at myself for loving Keith, but most especially I was pissed at Keith for dying and for leaving me.

I wasn't sure how much time passed, before I heard my door slam open and my mom ask, "Natalie, what is it? What's wrong?"

At this question, I suddenly stopped throwing things and looked over to her, shocked to find that my dad and siblings were standing there as well. "He's gone," I sobbed, I fell to the floor into a sobbing mess.

My mom's arms wrapped around me and she hugged me as tightly as she possible could. "Shhh...I'm so sorry, sweetie. It's going to be all right…"

"_No!_" I screamed. "No, it's not! He's gone and-and I didn't get to say goodbye."

* * *

**A/N: **_Please don't hate me…Seriously, this was the hardest chapter I have ever had to write…ever. I want to thank Purple Shamrock 17 for betaing and for helping me out a ton—seriously, without her help this chapter would never have gotten posted. Also, thanks for m81170 for betaing!_

_I feel really bad for leaving it at such a bad cliffy/sad ending, but there is a chance I may not be updating the next chapter until after August 6__th__. I'm doing a four week intensive graduate program, so I'm not sure how much time I will have to write. I am, however, hoping that I'll have the weekends free, and if that's the case I'll be able to get a chapter out. _

_Despite this chapter's sad ending (don't worry this story _does_ have a bittersweet ending), I'd still really appreciate it if you reviewed and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! _


	5. Whisper

**A/N: **_Hey, guys. I'm so sorry for the delay. I know it's been months since I last posted. I really loved all your reviews for the last chapter. I will try my hardest to get the next one out as soon as I can. Hopefully, sometime during the first week of October. _

_Thanks for reading!_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Five: Whisper**

"_Keith!" yelled Natalie, trying catch up with him before he entered the store. She knew exactly where he was headed. Just before he entered the pet store, she successfully grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling him back. "You are _not _going in there," she said sternly._

_While trying to get her grip off his shirt Keith said, "I just want to look."_

_She sighed, loudly. "We go in there every time we come to the mall. _Every time_."_

"_Just five minutes?"_

"_And every time we go in, you promise that we'll only be inside for five minutes. Which then promptly turns into five hours."_

"_Now you're being dramatic." He glared at her, and then pouted, "Please."_

_Why did he always have to make that adorable face? It always worked. Always._

"_Fine. _Five_ minutes." She wasn't sure why she emphasized this when she knew there'd be no way she'd be able to drag him out in that allotted time. _

_Natalie followed an excited Keith towards the back of the store. She stayed a few feet behind him, watching as he glanced at the puppies._

_It wasn't until they got towards the end of the row that Natalie knew they were in trouble. Big trouble. "Look at her," said Keith, pointing to a small brown and white cocker spaniel who was getting ganged up by three older and bigger dogs._

"_Keith," started Natalie, sensing that if she didn't get him out of the store soon, they'd be leaving the mall with an addition to the family._

"_I _have_ to hold her." Natalie rolled her eyes, and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him away. But she couldn't get him to budge. "_Please_, she's getting ganged up. I promise, I'll just hold her for five minutes."_

"_You said we'd only be in here for five minutes."_

_Keith was just about to retort, but an employee walked by and facing Keith said, "Aw, are you looking at that little girl there?" She pointed to the puppy Keith had his eyes on. He nodded. "She's a sweetie. Been here awhile though…"_

_At this, Keith's eyes got wide. "Does she get beat up like that a lot?"_

_She shrugged. "Yeah, kind of. She's such a small little thing."_

"_I have to hold her," said Keith quickly._

"_All right," smiled the employee. "I'll get her for you. Just go make yourselves comfortable in that room over there," she said, pointing to a tiny room a few feet away. _

_Keith nodded eagerly, and as soon as she went to the back, Natalie hissed, "Keith!"_

_He ignored her and instead grabbed her hand and dragged her into the room. "What's wrong?" he asked, when he realized she wasn't sitting down._

"_We are_ not_ buying a dog." She crossed her arms against her chest and glared. _

_It didn't seem to work._

_Keith only rolled his eyes, and said, "That's what you think," just as the employee walked in carrying the puppy against her chest. As soon as she handed the puppy to Keith, Natalie saw the look in Keith's eyes and knew they were in huge trouble._

_It was love at first sight._

_Keith turned to look to her; she knew exactly what he was going to say just by the expression that was gracing his face. "No," she said sternly._

"_But, partner," started Keith, pulling out that annoying (but incredibly adorable) puppy dog look. "She needs a home."_

"_Keith, no." She was quite proud of herself for not caving in at the look Keith was giving her. _

_But his pout only got bigger and cuter. "If we don't take her, she'll live in that tiny cage with those other stupid dogs who'll beat her up. She probably never gets enough food or water, and is lonely and just wants a home."_

_Natalie felt her face soften at his words. He was making a pretty convincing argument. "Well…when you put it that way…"_

_Keith's pout turned into a huge grin and Natalie could only do one thing—smile back. "She'll be the start of our family, partner." Natalie sat down next to Keith and as she petted the puppy, who had already made herself comfortable on Keith's lap. Keith added, "You, me, and—"_

"_Princess."_

"_Princess? Our dog is not going to have a girly name like that!"_

"_That's what you think…"_

_

* * *

_

"Natalie? Natalie!"

I jumped a little in my seat, only to find Henry and my mom giving me worried glances. "Yeah?" I asked, trying to act like everything was normal, even though it wasn't. I looked away from them both and gazed outside at the bright morning sky. How could it be so sunny and perfect out when everything was just so wrong?

"Are you all right, sweetie?" I wanted to yell at my mom for asking such a stupid question. Of course I wasn't all right.

Keith was gone.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, as I stared down at my uneaten breakfast. Why had I just daydreamed of Keith and I? It didn't make any sense. Keith was gone, and we were never going to have a future. Even though it probably wasn't a good idea to daydream about a future I would never have, it helped. It helped a lot.

Mom walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead. "Everything's going to be fine," she said as she pulled away. I wanted to believe her. But right now, I just couldn't. How could anything to be fine without Keith?

She glanced around the table to make sure Henry and I had enough to eat, before declaring she was going to sit in the living room. I think she figured that Henry and I needed some time to ourselves, and I was never more grateful to her.

I took a bite of my eggs, forcing myself to swallow, before looking over to Henry. He hadn't even touched his food; he was just sitting there, staring out the window. I watched him for a while, trying to gain up the courage to ask him one question that had been nagging me ever since last night. "Henry?"

He turned to look at me. "Do-do you think he was in pain?"

Tears filled his eyes and I immediately felt bad, but I_ had_ to know. "I-I don't think he was. I think it happened peacefully, although, maybe that's me just hoping." He shrugged before picking up his coffee cup and taking a long sip of his now cold coffee.

"Okay," I whispered. I felt a bit better, even though I knew I'd never know the exact answer. No one ever would, but it helped knowing that Henry thought Keith had died peacefully.

We lapsed into silence after that, but not for long. "Natalie, I was wondering something…"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind helping me with Keith's fu-funeral arrangements? I just…I don't know if I can do it by myself. I need to call everyone, too…" The last sentence was hard to distinguish as it blended with his tears.

"Of course I will, Henry."

"Thanks," he said, giving me a watery smile. "You can't understand how grateful I am."

"Don't worry about it." At that, Henry went back to gazing out of the window, as I let the actions of what I had just agreed to sink in. I knew that it would be one of—if not the hardest—things I would ever have to do. But no matter what, I was grateful to help because it was the last thing I would ever be able to do for Keith.

* * *

The rest of the day, I helped Henry call everyone. There were many times when I had to call the person myself, or take over the call because Henry was just too distraught to continue. I'm not sure how I held it together.

The worse phone call was calling Henry's mom. I don't think I had ever heard someone cry so heartbreakingly before. Her words, "A grandma isn't supposed to go to her grandson's funeral," will probably stay with me for years.

After the phone calls, Henry wanted my advice on certain aspects of Keith's funeral. Like where the funeral service should be held, what his casket should look like, what kind of flowers Keith would appreciate the most. It made me happy that he trusted my advice with something so special.

We spent the next day finishing up the plans for Keith's funeral. It was going to be held on Friday, at eleven in the morning. That afternoon, I drove Henry to pick his mom up at the airport. It was hard to see Henry greet his mom, as they both started crying as soon as they saw each other. As they hugged each other, I knew just by looking at them, that they were holding each other up.

That night, I had dinner with them, and got to know Keith's grandma, Elaine (she insisted that I call her by her first name). She was friendly and sweet, but I could see a hint of mischievousness in her eyes that reminded me so much of Keith.

I left early that night, wanting to get some rest before the funeral, and to allow Henry and Elaine some alone time to grieve.

When I was home, I began to feel a painful loneliness that I hadn't felt since the night Keith died. The past three days had been busy and hadn't given me time to…think too much. But now, all I could think about was Keith and how lonely I was without him. This was how my life was going to be, filled with a void that only Keith could fill.

I tried to distract myself from the loneliness by reading, cleaning my room, but nothing helped. Just as I was sure the loneliness was going to take over, I heard a knock on my door. "Yeah?" I called.

My door opened to reveal Zach. "Hey," he said, giving me a small smile. "Brooke's here."

"Really?" I asked, sitting up in bed. "Thanks," I said as I left my room and made my way downstairs.

Brooke was standing at the doorway, a huge bag in her hand; as soon as she saw me she ran over and hugged me. "I'm so sorry." When she pulled away she added, "I'm sorry I haven't been over sooner, but your mom thought it be best to give you a few days."

"It's fine," I said as I led her into the living room.

As soon as we both sat down on the couch, she poured the contents of the bag onto the coffee table. There were chips, cookies, soda, and movies. "I was thinking," she said, "that we make it a job to eat all of this junk food and watch all of these movies tonight."

I smiled. "It's perfect." In that moment, I had never appreciated Brooke's friendship more, and I couldn't imagine getting through Keith's death without her.

* * *

When I woke up on Friday morning, the day of Keith's funeral, I couldn't get out of bed. Brooke's company had helped last night, but now I felt more alone than ever. I could only stare out of my window and think about how horribly clichéd the weather was. It was cloudy and raining steadily; it didn't look to be stopping anytime soon.

I'm not sure how long I laid there, knowing that I needed to get ready, but was unable to do anything about it. Until, that is, my mom walked into the room. "Good morning, sweetie," she whispered, as she sat down on my bed.

"Morning," I mumbled.

She stared at me for a few minutes, before saying, "We gotta leave soon…"

I slowly sat up in bed, when a thought occurred to me. "I don't know what to wear."

"Don't worry," smiled my mom. "While you take a shower, I'll find something."

When I was finished with my shower, I walked out of my bathroom to see a black dress and a pair of high heels laying on my bed. I put them on quickly, and just as I was finishing getting ready, my mom walked back in, dressed in a black dress as well with a white sweater.

"Ready?" she asked.

I went to nod, but then practically fell on my bed; I couldn't hold myself up anymore. "Mom?" I asked. "Why does this feel like this is the hardest thing I've ever done and will have to do?"

She sat down next to me, gently grabbing my hand. "Because, sweetie, it is. I just want you to know that me, your father, Cynthia, and Zach will be here for you as long as you need."

"Thanks," I said, giving her a soft smile before we got up and made our way downstairs. When we entered the living room, I was shocked to see Zach sitting on the couch dressed in black slacks and a nice button up shirt. "Zach?"

"Hey, Nats," he said, and in probably the gentlest voice he had ever directed towards me.

"What are you doing?"

He walked over to me. "I'm going with you."

"But you're suppose to go to Chicago with your friends since finals were over yesterday. You've been talking about it for the past month."

"Yeah," he said. "I told them that my sister needs me, and she's more important than having fun in Chicago."

"Really?" I asked through my tears.

"Yeah, really." I could tell he hated seeing me cry, because he wrapped his arms around me in a hug—something he hadn't done in years.

As I hugged him back, part of me felt that maybe, just _maybe_, I could get through this.

* * *

The service was at a small funeral home a few minutes away from Henry's. We were directed to a small room where Keith's family was mingling, waiting until it was time for the service. Henry caught sight of us as soon as we walked in; I couldn't help but notice how red is eyes were; he must've been crying all morning.

Henry gave me a tight hug when we neared him and said, "Hey, Natalie, Zach, Caroline, thanks for coming."

He then turned to his left and introduced me to the people he had been talking to. "This is my sister, Monica, my brother-in-law, Steve, and my niece, Lexi."

"Hi," I said, giving them a small smile. "I'm Natalie—"

"Keith's girlfriend?" asked Monica, with a smile.

"Yeah."

"It's nice to finally meet you," said Monica. "Keith was so happy when he found you."

I blinked slowly, shocked that she knew about me. "Did he tell you about me?"

She nodded. "Yep, he did. Not until a few weeks ago. When he told me, I clearly remember him saying, 'She's great. And she wants me for me.' He loved you," she finished.

"He was the best thing that ever happened me." I gave her a watery smile. "Thanks for telling me that. I had no idea that he would tell anyone about me; you have no idea how happy that makes me."

Monica was about to say something in reply, but Lexi, who didn't look to be more than seven years old, said to me, as she lifted her head off her dad's shoulder, "Don't be sad. Keith's in a better place now. He's up in the sky and beyond the clouds." Lexi glanced up to the ceiling with a smile on her face, but suddenly her smile turned to a frown and she glanced at Monica, clearly worried. "Mommy, do you think Keith is sick up in the sky and beyond the clouds?"

"Nope, he's not sick at all. He's healthier than he has ever been."

"Good. I don't like to see him sick. It makes me sad." She rested her head back on her dad's shoulder and closed her eyes.

Steve spoke up. "I'm going to go speak with Elaine, okay?" Monica nodded. "Nice to meet you, Natalie," he said, before walking away, carrying Lexi with him.

"You too," I said before turning back to Monica. "If you don't mind me asking, how did Lexi know Keith was sick? Did you tell her?"

A sad look crossed Monica's face. "Keith and Henry normally come visit us in the summer. Last summer they came out and Keith was just not himself. He was tired all the time, and just didn't feel well. They actually left after a week, because Henry wanted to take Keith to the doctor and a month later…we found out. Lexi kept asking me about him, and I just figured that there was no point lying, you know?"

"I know what you mean," I said, just as Henry walked over to us.

"It's time," was all he said.

As soon as I walked into the room where the service was going to be held, and caught sight of Keith's casket, I just stopped; I couldn't move. The only thing I could do was stare at it. I couldn't believe that a little more than a week ago, Keith was here, and now I was staring at his casket. I would _never_ see him again.

I'm not sure how long I stared at it, but Elaine came over to me, shaking me out of my daze as she placed her hand on my arm saying, "Are you all right, dear?"

I nodded, as I began to look for my mom and Zach; they were sitting near the front. Once everyone was in their seats, the pastor gave a short speech before Henry walked up. "I first want to start off by thanking everyone for coming. I know Keith would've hated all this attention, but as his dad I can do what I want." Sad laughter echoed throughout the room. "I wrote something for Keith today and wanted to share it will all of you."

He took a few seconds to compose himself before continuing, "When Sandra was pregnant, I prayed and prayed for a boy. I dreamed about taking him to football games and eating as much junk food as we wanted; I dreamed about teaching him to drive, and building a truck together. I got my wish. Keith was perfect. As a kid he had a lot of spunk and his love for Superman rivaled every other boy. For years and years, he waited until the day he could fly. He didn't end up truly flying until he was much older. When he met Natalie. "

At the sound of my name, the tears that had been building in my eyes since the start of his speech began sliding down my cheeks. "When he met her, he finally understood that flying doesn't mean his feet had to be off the ground. He didn't need to be in the sky; he just needed to be with her. He loved Natalie so much. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at her, and hear it in his voice when he talked about her. There were only a few things Keith's loved more than trucks and she was one of them. He loved her more than anything."

"The last conversation I had with Keith, I will never forget. He told me I was the best dad he could've ever wanted and-and that he loved me. My time with Keith may have been short, but I would never, _ever _change it. Ever. I love you, son," he whispered with a whisper. Then, he laughed. "I bet Keith is glaring at me right now, he always hated cheesy stuff like that, but like I said before, I'm his dad and I get say what I want."

Henry glanced up from his paper and motioned for Lexi to come join him. "Now, we have one more person who has something they wrote for Keith."

Lexi walked up to the front of the room, and smoothed her dress before saying, "I'm Keith's cousin. I'm _almost_ seven and I wrote something for Keith." She took a deep breath before saying, "Keith, you were my favorite cousin ever and my best friend ever. Thanks for playing Barbies with me and Pretty Pretty Princess. Thanks for taking me for ice cream ever single day when you visited, even though you were told not to. I still haven't told mom or dad yet.

"I just wanted to say that I love you so much that I couldn't fit all the numbers on my paper to show how much I do. You're the best ever." She took a step forward as if she was done, but then stopped and said, "Oh, and I'm sorry for locking you in the closet that one time."

* * *

After the funeral, Henry mentioned to everyone that there was going to be a last prayer at the cemetery in an hour. As everyone got out of their chairs, I noticed that they were stopping near the exit to glance at something that was on two small tables.

Curious, I walked over to them to see what there were looking at. Pictures of Keith. They varied from when he was young, to apparently just a few weeks ago. The one that caught my eye though, was one of Keith and I camping. We were both by the campfire and Keith was suppose to hand feed me a marshmallow, but had ended up 'accidently' getting it on my face.

"You can have that, you know," said Henry from beside me, staring at the picture I was holding.

I glanced up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah, I have plenty of Keith. Go on, take it," he encouraged.

It didn't take much convincing on my part, and I gently placed it in my purse, knowing that as soon as I got home I was going to put it in a frame and keep it forever.

I walked to the other table and glanced at the rest of the pictures, before my mom came up to me. "Hey, sweetie. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," I said, not taking my eyes away from a particular picture of Keith. He looked to be no more than six years old and was sitting on a bunch of phonebooks in the driver's seat of Henry's truck, with his tiny hands on the wheel. His smile reached his ears; I loved how incredibly happy he looked. "Yeah, let's go."

"You can have a few more minutes. I don't want to rush you."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "It's fine. I'm ready."

* * *

It only took fifteen minutes to get to the cemetery. Once there, everyone gathered around Keith's casket and a small prayer, "Psalm 23," was said, before we were informed that we could say our goodbyes. I don't think there was a dry eye around. Even _Zach_ was crying.

I waited, wanting to be the last person to say goodbye. When it was my turn, my mom said, "We'll wait in the car for you, all right?"

"All right," I said. I waited until they were almost out of sight before I made my way slowly towards Keith's casket. Everything was blurry as I approached it, and I hastily wiped my tears away. I still wanted to be able to see things clearly.

I placed a yellow flower on top of the others that people had left. I took in a shaky breath before I said, "Hey, Keith." I bit my lip, not exactly sure what to say. There were so many things I wanted to say, wanted to tell him. "I could stand here and talk to you for hours, but I-I figure that I should just say what's really important. I want you to know that you were the most amazing guy I have ever met, and the best boyfriend I could ever imagined to have. I love you and you will _always_ hold a special place in my heart. Always."

I stared at his casket for a few more minutes before I whispered, "Goodbye, partner." Slowly, I began walking back to the car, but then I heard it.

My name.

It was as if someone had whispered it, but the voice had sounded exactly like Keith's. I stayed still for a few more seconds, but then shook my head. I was just hearing things. But, when I took another step forward, I heard it again.

This time, I turned quickly around, not exactly sure what to expect. And there it was on top of the casket.

A rainbow rose.

I walked slowly towards the casket, almost afraid that if I looked away it would disappear. But it didn't. I gently picked it up, noticing that it had the same yellow construction paper attached to it with dark purple ribbon. With shaky fingers I went to open up the note, but just as my fingers grazed the paper, I sensed that someone was standing next to me and heard Zach say, "Hey, Nats. Mom wanted me to come check on you."

I had no idea that it had been that long. Slowly, I glanced up into Zach's eyes. "Zach," I started slowly, "did you leave this?"

He glanced down at the rose. "No," he said, and then slowly added, "Isn't that the same rose that…"

"Yeah," I said. "It is. Are you sure you didn't do this? I mean, I wouldn't be mad or anything."

"No, I didn't," he said sincerely. "I've been in the car the whole time."

"Oh," I mumbled softly. None of this made sense, even if Zach would've admitted it was him who had left the rose, who had whispered my name, and in the exact voice as Keith's?

"I promise, it wasn't me," added Zach quickly.

"I know," I whispered. Zach didn't say anymore, and gently began leading me to the car, the whole time my mind was on the rose and my whispered name.

* * *

On the car ride to Henry's, I didn't speak. The more I thought about what had just happened the more confused I got. It couldn't have been Keith who had left me the rose and whispered my name. It couldn't be because it was _impossible_. The only conclusion I came up to was that Keith had asked someone to finish giving me the roses if he died before he could…and my whispered name? I must've imagined it.

When we arrived at Henry's, everyone was sitting around talking. Henry introduced me to everyone else (Sandra's parents and her brothers) before I got a small plate of food. I wasn't very hungry; I hadn't had a real appetite ever since…

During dessert I got the guts to speak up and ask Elaine something. "So, Henry's told me a few stories of Keith when he was younger. Do you have any particularly good ones you'd like to share?"

Elaine smiled. "Oh do I ever. I used to live in Illinois up until Keith was about seven so I babysat him during the day."

"Could you tell us one?"

"Absolutely," she smiled. "When Keith was six…"

* * *

"_C'mon, Keith," said Elaine, trying to grab Keith from behind the sofa, but she couldn't reach him. "Keith, I'm not taking you to a store with punch all over your shirt."_

"_No!" he screamed. "I wanna wear my truck shirt!"_

"_I have a drawer full of trucks shirts for you. You can pick whichever one you want."_

"_No!" he screamed again. "I wanna wear_ this _shirt! It's yellow and has my favorite truck on it and you can't make me." He was breathing heavily and Elaine was worried he was going to start hyperventilating. _

"_Fine, Keith, you can wear that shirt." She wasn't going to stand here and fight with a six-year-old who always ended up getting his way regardless._

_Keith smiled at her, and before she could even blink he was out from behind the couch and trying to tie his shoes. "Grandma, can I please ride the toy car at Walmart?"_

"_Of course you can," she started as she kneeled in front of him and helped him tie his shoes, "but _only_ if you behave."_

_At this, he looked at her with a big smile, his green eyes sparkling, and said, "I _always_behave, Grandma."_

_How could she ever say no to him? With his crooked smile and green eyes—he was the cutest grandson ever._

…

_Thirty minutes later, they finally made it to Walmart. "Okay, Keith," said Elaine as she bent down and lifted Keith up, placing him in the front seat of the cart. "I promise we won't be here for very long."_

"_K," said Keith, completely distracted by the many people walking around._

_Keith behaved for the first half hour, but after that, he began complaining that he was bored and hungry. She tried to quicken her shopping, but it was hard to make any progress with a six-year-old trying to get out of the cart every five seconds._

"_Keith," started Elaine seriously. He looked up at her. "I'm going to go get some milk, don't you try to get out of this cart, okay?"_

_He nodded, looking completely innocent, and Elaine turned her back to him, trying to choose quickly; it hadn't taken her more than thirty seconds, but when she turned around to put the milk in the cart, Keith was gone._

_Heart pounding, Elaine glanced around the grocery area, and saw no sign of him. She tried to calm herself down and think reasonably about where he could be. He was six-years-old, he couldn't be far. But the simple fact that he was her grandchild, couldn't prevent anxiety and fear to start building up._

_What were Henry and Sandra going to say when she told them that she lost their only child?_

_Grabbing the cart, she quickly pushed it, trying in vain to think of where Keith would go. Her first instinct was the toy car at the front of the store, but he wasn't there._

_The only other place she expected a young boy to be at was the toy section. She went down each aisle, shocked at how fast she was walking. It wasn't until she got to the last aisle that she saw him._

_Keith was sitting on the ground with at least ten boxes of toy cars opened at his feet. He glanced up when she approached him and his eyes shone. "Grandma! Look at what I found!"_

_She was ready to yell at him, tell him that he had been a bad boy, but she just couldn't. He was looking at her all excited, and all she could think of was how incredibly cute he was and that she hadn't lost him._

"_I see that." She __bent down, and picked Keith up. After she placed him in the cart, she put the ten already opened toys and their boxes into the cart too._

_As she walked towards the register, she didn't care that she was be buying Keith ten toys; it was a grandma's right to spoil her grandchild after all._

_

* * *

_

"Mom," started Henry. I could tell his voice was laced with tears, but he still seemed happier than he had been in the past few days. "I can't believe you didn't tell me that!"

"Sorry," said Elaine sheepishly. "He was just too cute, I could never say no to him."

"So, I've noticed," mumbled Henry.

"Like you ever said no to him either!" fought back Elaine. "You always were sneaking him more sweets and letting him sit on your lap while you drove."

"It's a dad's job," was all he replied.

"That was an adorable story," I said. Everyone nodded in agreement. I then glanced over to Lexi. "Hey, Lexi."

"Yeah?"

"I thought you gave a great speech for Keith today, and I was wondering something." Lexi glanced at me expectantly. "How did you lock Keith in the closet?"

A huge smile graced Lexi's face as she began to tell her story.

* * *

_It was finally Friday afternoon, July 23__rd__ and Lexi could not wait for Keith to show up. She had been waiting for him to visit for what seemed like a million years._

_For the past week she had been planning all the fun things she and Keith would do. They were going to go to the zoo, the aquarium, and the park. They were going to play board games, color, paint, and play with her Barbies. _

_It was going to be so much fun._

_An hour before Keith, Aunt Sandra, and Uncle Henry were due to arrive, Lexi began waiting by the window. She wanted to see the exact moment when Keith arrived, so she could run up to him, hug him, and then drag him to her room so they could start coloring._

_At exactly five at night, Lexi saw the familiar truck approach and park in the driveway. Squealing, as soon as she caught sight of Keith, she tore through her front door and ran into him, almost knocking him over._

"_Keith!" she screamed, grabbing his hand and pulling him forward. "Let's go color in my new cool coloring book. I just go it yesterday. It. Is. So. Cool."_

_Keith only chuckled as he let her drag him into the house and up to her room. She had him sit in a tiny chair at her table where she normally held her tea parties. While he waited, she found her new coloring book and began looking for two pictures. Once she found the perfect ones, she placed one of them in front of him. "K, Keith," she said. "This is your picture. You have to make it perfect. K?"_

"_All right," he agreed. _

_Lexi watched him as he went to grab a green crayon. Frowning at his color choice she said, "What're you gonna use the green for?"_

"_Uh…to color the dog?"_

"_What?" she breathed, completely exasperated. "Dogs are not green. This puppy should be brown."_

"_But brown's boring," stated Keith. "What if—" Keith stopped at as Lexi gave him a deathly glare._

"Brown_."_

_"Okay," said Keith. "Brown it is."_

_They colored for a while, and then did some finger painting. Lexi painted an awesome rainbow, while Keith a truck. It wasn't until Lexi mentioned that they could start playing Barbies when Keith said, "How about we play Hide and Seek instead?"_

_Lexi weighed this idea for a few minutes and then said, "Okay! But we have to play Barbies later, K?"_

"_Maybe," said Keith._

_Lexi frowned for a few seconds. "You can hide first," she said, as she sat down on her bed and began counting. Through her fingers, she watched as Keith walked into the hallway and got into the closet. "Ninety-nine a hundred. Ready or not here I come!"_

_She ran quickly into the hallway, ready to open the closet door and scream that she had found him, when an idea hit her. Unlike most closets, this one had a lock because their cat, Bubbles, liked to open it and hide dead mice in it. A few years ago her mom had put a lock on it, so it was impossible for Bubbles to open. Knowing exactly where the key was (in the top drawer of the bathroom right next to the closet), she grabbed it and while trying not to laugh, quickly locked the door._

_Once it was locked, she knocked on the door and said, "Keith, I found you!"_

"_Already?" She heard Keith sigh. Then, he turned the doorknob. "Lexi, quit blocking the door."_

_She only giggled. "I'm not blocking the door. I locked it!"_

"_You locked it?"_

"_Yup."_

"_Well, can you please let me out, Lexi? I can barely move. And it's hard to breathe."_

"_I dunno…What would I get if I let you out?"_

"_I'll take you for ice cream tomorrow."_

"_And?"_

"_And I'll color as many pictures with you as you want."_

_Lexi smiled. She was getting a lot out of Keith like this. She should've thought of this years ago. "Okay, those are both good."_

"_Great," said Keith. "Can you let me out now?"_

"_I think you're missing some stuff."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Like playing Barbies with me everyday and playing Pretty Pretty Princess."_

"_All right," agreed Keith. "I'll take you for ice cream, color with you, play Barbies, and Pretty Pretty Princess with you."_

"_Okay!" said Lexi. "I'll let you out now." She went to put the key into the doorknob, but her fingers slipped and the key fell out of her hand. She watched in slow motion as it hit the floor, bounced, and fell into the grate. "Uh-oh," she said._

"_Uh-oh?" said Keith, voice muffled. "What does uh-oh mean?"_

"_Um…I lost the key."_

"_What?" Keith breathed. He began trying the doorknob, but it wouldn't open. "Lexi, go downstairs and tell someone that you locked me in a closet and lost the key."_

"_Okay," she said. "I'll be right back, promise." She bounded down the stairs, and into the kitchen where everyone was sitting. "Mom," she said, as she grabbed on her mom's shirt and pulled, trying to get her attention. _

"_Hang on, Lexi. Mommy's talking."_

"_But, Mom!"_

"_Lexi," said her mom, turning to look over to her. "One second." Lexi huffed loudly, and sat down on the floor, waiting for her mom to finish talking. The problem was, it was longer than a second, and Lexi got distracted by playing with Bubbles._

_It had to have been at least a good fifteen minutes when Henry said, "What's that noise? It sounds like someone is pounding on the door."_

_Lexi listened for it, and knew exactly what it was. "Oh, that's Keith."_

"_Where is Keith?" asked Henry._

"_Locked in a closet."_

_At this, everyone stood up quickly. "Locked in a closet? Lexi, how long has he been locked in a closet?" asked her mom._

_She shrugged. "I dunno. A while. I _tried_ to tell you, but _yo_u said just a second. I've been waiting."_

_Everyone quickly ran upstairs, and Lexi followed a bit guilty behind. It didn't take long to get the key; Henry just opened the grate and used his fingers to grab it, before inserting it into the doorknob._

_Before Henry even had the chance to the door, Keith pushed it open. "What took so long?" he gasped._

"_I got distracted," said Lexi._

_As Keith took in gulps of fresh air, Lexi looked up at him. "Keith, are you mad at me?"_

"'_Course not," he said. "But let's not lock me in a closet again, okay?"_

"_K," she said. "Does this mean we don't get to go get ice cream?"_

_Keith kneeled down to her level. "Nope, I promise I'll still follow through on our agreement, okay?"_

_Lexi smiled and threw her arms around Keith. He was her best friend._

_Ever._

_

* * *

_

I could not stop laughing. The image of Keith getting locked in a closet and getting tricked into buying ice cream, playing Barbies, and Pretty Pretty Princess was just too funny. Once I caught my breath, I glanced over to Lexi and asked, "Did Keith ever play Barbies?"

She nodded, grinning. "Oh yeah, we played _all_ the time. It was awesome."

I smiled at that. "Thanks for telling us the story, Lexi. It was great."

"No problem," she smiled.

At this, Monica stood up. "Well, it's getting late. We better get to our hotel." She turned to Henry, who was sitting silently on the couch; he looked as if he was thinking of something, and I only hoped it was of another happy memory of Keith.

Everyone else agreed with Monica, and began getting ready to go. My mom walked over to me, and said, "Natalie, are you ready to go? It's getting late. We'll come back tomorrow if you want."

I'm not sure why, but the thought of leaving caused my heart to start beating faster, and my hands got clammy. "I-I dunno…" I mumbled. "I kind of want to stay here." I wanted to say here, where Keith had last been.

My mom looked torn and said quietly, "Sweetie, I think—"

Henry interrupted and said, "She can stay here if she wants."

I glanced up and smiled softly at him. Within the next half hour, everyone else had left and it was just Henry, Elaine, and me. It was silent, and for a few brief seconds I felt bad, like I was imposing or something.

"Well," said Henry standing up. "I think I'm going to go to bed." He turned to me. "Natalie, if-if you want you can sleep in Keith's room."

This offer took me completely off guard. "Oh, okay," I said.

"If you don't want to, dear," spoke up Elaine, "I can make you a bed on the couch."

I debated this for a while. "No, I-I would like to sleep in Keith's room. If that's okay?"

"Sure," they smiled.

I waited until Henry and Elaine were in their respected rooms before I got the courage to walk to Keith's. On my way through the kitchen, I spotted the rainbow rose that I had found on Keith's casket hours before. I had hid it carefully in the corner of the kitchen to protect it and had promptly forgotten about it. Gently, I grabbed it off the counter before I made my way to Keith's room.

The door to his room was closed. I hadn't opened it since…since Keith had died. Softly, I trailed my fingers down the wooden door before resting my hand on the doorknob, taking a deep breath. As soon as I opened the door, the familiar scent of Keith surrounded me and I didn't want it to ever go away.

I closed the door behind me, before glancing around the room. It was exactly as Keith had left it. There were clothes thrown around, magazines on the floor, paper scattered on his desk. I looked around his room for a few minutes, before sitting down on his bed. Kicking off my shoes, I got under the covers, before I glanced more closely at the rose.

Just like the others, it had all of the colors I could think of: purple, pink, yellow, green; it was beautiful. I gently touched the yellow construction paper, prolonging the moment when I would read the note.

I knew I couldn't prolong it forever, and like most things, the anticipation of it would end. What if this was the last word? What if Keith had planned it this way?

I didn't know if I could handle it.

Biting my lips, I quickly opened up the tiny note to only read one word, "_toujours,_" which meant 'always' in French.

_Partner, I will love you always. _

At this, tears blurred my vision, because it confirmed my worst fears. This was the end to the saying.

It was goodbye.

* * *

**A/N: **_I hope you enjoyed it, even though it was rather sad. Thanks to Purple Shamrock 17 for being a great beta! And as always, thanks for reading and please review!_


	6. Imaginary

**A/N: **_Hey, guys. I'm sorry it took me so long to get this posted. I can't seem to post any time close to my deadline anymore. I really appreciate the reviews from the last chapter, and hope you enjoy this one!_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Six: Imaginary**

The next three weeks went by slowly. I couldn't understand why my time with Keith had gone by so quickly, but now when he wasn't here, it seemed like time had practically stopped.

It wasn't fair.

Since Keith's funeral, I couldn't get myself to do much of anything. Most days, I just stayed in my room, sleeping or reading. On mornings of good days, I would get ready and make plans to start preparing for Duke, or to hang out with Brooke. But as soon as I sat down at my computer or went to call Brooke, I just couldn't do it.

I felt guilty and I wasn't sure why. Every time I thought about asking Brooke to go to a movie, it would make me think about Keith and how he didn't get the chance to see it; or how I'd think about joining my family for dinner, only to remember how much Keith had loved that restaurant.

The biggest reason I felt guilty was because I wasn't there to say goodbye. I had put homework before him and because of that I wasn't there when he had needed me the most. I couldn't stop blaming myself. I didn't talk to anyone about it, because I knew exactly what they'd tell me: Keith wouldn't want me to be blaming myself, he would want me to be happy.

They wouldn't understand.

Not only did I spend my time blaming myself, there was also something that was happening that I couldn't tell people. Ever since Keith's funeral, I had been hearing my name being whispered.

In Keith's voice.

Part of me thought that I was going crazy. I knew I was grieving, but thinking I was hearing my boyfriend whisper my name was just not normal. I wanted to believe it was him, so much. There were times where I just wanted to admit that it was him, but I couldn't because I knew it was impossible. Keith was gone and he wasn't coming back.

It was nearing dinnertime on a Friday night and I was currently pulling out a box full of books from underneath my bed, trying to find one that I could spend the night reading, when a knock sounded on my door. "Yeah?" I said as I pushed the box back under my bed before I glanced up. I was more than surprised to see Brooke standing there.

"Hey," she said, smiling as she walked over and sat on my bed.

"Hey." I sat down next to her, flipping through the three books I had decided to pick from.

"So," started Brooke, "I was wondering if you'd want to go to dinner tonight?"

"Oh," I said, glancing back down at my books. "I was thinking about just reading tonight."

When I glanced back up to Brooke, I saw her smile drop. "Oh," she whispered. "All right."

I appreciated how she didn't pressure me to go to dinner with her, but the longer I stared at her, the more I felt bad. "But, I can always do that tomorrow," I suddenly spoke up, surprisingly myself. "Dinner sounds fun. Where were you thinking of going?"

A smile bloomed on her face. "Really? Great. I was thinking we could go to this new restaurant…I can't remember its name, but it just opened up. Everyone says it's amazing."

I got off my bed, feeling a tiny bit of excitement course through me at the thought of hanging out with Brooke and doing something _normal_. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Brooke and I got to the restaurant thirty minutes later. After we got comfortable in our seats, we glanced over our menus and Brooke suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! We need to try their milkshakes. I've heard they're amazing, and they have really unique flavors, too."

I flipped to the back of the menu where the milkshakes were and skimmed through the flavors. "Which one are you getting?" I asked.

"I dunno…I was thinking the marshmallow. You?"

"That's interesting," I smiled. "And I'm going to be really boring and get—"

"Let me guess," interrupted Brooke. "French vanilla."

"Yup," I laughed.

Our milkshakes arrived just as we decided what we wanted to eat. After ordering we went to try our milkshakes. "This is so good," said Brooke as she took a sip and then pushed her milkshake toward me. "It tastes just like marshmallows."

I took a sip of mine first. Even if it was just traditional vanilla, it was the best milkshake I had ever had. I pushed my glass towards Brooke before I tasted hers.

As soon as I did though, I regretted it instantly. The familiar taste of marshmallows reminded me of Keith. I could remember the memory as if it had just happened: him kissing me in front of the campfire, his lips sticky and sweet, tasting like marshmallows.

"Natalie?" I heard Brooke call, taking me out of my memory.

"Yeah?"

"A-are you okay?"

"Yeah-yeah I'm fine. It's just…"

"Are-are you sure? Didn't you like it?"

"Y-yeah," I said, shaking my head. "it's good." I could tell she didn't believe me so I added, "It's just…it's stupid…but the marshmallow flavor reminded me of Keith."

"Oh, shit. I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

"It's fine, really. I mean, it's good to remember, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "it is." She looked like she was debating something, before she dug into her purse and pulled out a rather large envelope. "I-I've had these for a while. I got them for you during finals weeks. I was going to give you them during graduation, but didn't think you were ready." She must have realized she was rambling because she suddenly handed me the envelope.

The envelope was thin and flexible; I couldn't think of what it was. Curiously, I opened it and as I saw what was inside, I felt my eyes fill with tears.

It was mine and Keith's prom picture.

I felt myself laugh softly as I remembered how he had threatened to do a funny face. But he hadn't and I knew the only reason he hadn't made one was for me.

"Thanks, Brooke," I said as I continued to stare at the picture. "I really appreciate it. I totally forgot about them."

"You looked really pretty," she said. "And he looked great."

I continued to stare at the picture. "Yeah, he did." I stared at the picture for a few more minutes and just as I was putting it carefully back in its envelope, our food arrived.

We ate our dinner silently, only making a few comments about our food (which was amazing). As we were paid for our bill, Brooke glanced at me hesitantly and asked, "So, what do you think about going to the Brick? Everyone's getting together tonight. We wouldn't have to stay long…just say hi to some people. I know Trish wants to see you."

"I-I don't know." I didn't want to upset Brooke, but I also didn't really want to go home. Surprisingly, hanging out with her, I didn't think about Keith as much as when I was home alone.

"We could just go for fifteen minutes," Brooke suggested.

I bit my lip. "All right, we can go." I hadn't seen my classmates since graduation and I knew I had been a mess, seeing them now I could show them that I was okay. That I was moving on.

Even if it was a lie.

* * *

When we arrived at the Brick, people kept staring at me. I could tell by the look on their faces that they were thinking: 'Her boyfriend just died. From cancer.' It was incredibly uncomfortable. Most of them didn't even come up to me, but some did.

"Hey, Natalie," said Cassie, a redheaded girl that I had geometry with all throughout senior year. While I talked with Cassie, Brooke went to find us some drinks. "I didn't get to see you at graduation, and I wanted to say I'm really sorry." I gave her a small smile; I didn't trust myself to speak right now. "Keith was a really great guy."

I knew Cassie meant well, as did all my other friends, but they always talked about Keith like they_ knew_ him when didn't know him at all. They didn't know his favorite color was yellow, that his favorite food was Chinese and that his favorite season was the summer.

"Thanks, Cassie," was all I replied.

"How're you holding up?"

I looked at the ground. Acting okay was harder than I had expected. "Fine."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

I thanked her just as Brooke came back, carrying two red cups full of beer. We said our goodbyes to Cassie, and began looking through the crowd for Trish. We found her near the lakeshore with a group of friends.

As soon as we joined them, everyone asked me the normal questions (if I was okay, how I was holding up, and making sure that if I needed to, I could call them), and then luckily went back to talking about college and what vacations they were going to be taking before they started classes.

It was hard for me to pay attention because I couldn't look into the future. I didn't want to. I didn't want to think about it because if I did, it felt like I was moving on. Like I was going to forget about Keith and with that, I was betraying him in some way.

I continued to stand there, acting like I was paying attention as I occasionally sipped my beer. Everything was going all right until I heard it….

"Natalie," my name whispered in what could only be Keith's voice.

At this, I just had to get away. I couldn't do it. I couldn't act like everything was normal, because it wasn't. I walked away from the crowd, happy that no one noticed or acknowledge my disappearance. I found a rather large rock and sat on it. From my spot, I could see the cliff where Keith and I had spent so many nights.

I stared ahead at the cliff, thinking of the memories that Keith and I had had or might have had.

* * *

"_What do you think you are doing?" yelled Natalie as she walked into the living room, hands on her hips._

"_I'm taking a break. Playin' a video game," mumbled Keith, who had his eyes glued to the television. _

"_Taking a break?" said Natalie as she walked over to the Xbox and unplugged it. "You told me you were resting because the paint fumes were giving you a headache!"_

"_What the hell was that for?" screamed Keith, jumping up from the couch; he went to continue to yell at her, but at the look on her face he shut his mouth._

"_Upstairs. Now," said Natalie, pointing her finger up the stairs._

_Keith's face fell. "Can't we stop for today? I'm sick of painting!"_

"_So am I," she said, throwing her hands up in the air. "And no, we can't stop painting. We've—or should I say I—have only been painting for a few hours."_

"_Fine," mumbled Keith, as he walked slowly upstairs._

_Natalie followed behind Keith back upstairs to their bedroom. She wanted to make sure he wouldn't take off and go hide somewhere or something._

_As soon as they got back to work, Keith wanted to change the music. "But I'm sick of listening to this girly crap."_

"_Well, maybe you should've thought that before you left me to paint by myself for an hour!"_

_For the next hour they painted their designated walls. Natalie was just glad that Keith was finally behaving. Maybe now, they could get the room painted in the next ten years. That was until she turned around to check on Keith's progress._

"_What are you doing?"_

_Keith turned around. "Painting," he said as if this was the most obvious thing._

"_You are not painting! You're just fooling around!" she said as she pointed to the wall, which instead of being coated with the light green color, was covered with a bunch of green trucks. "God, what are you five?"_

_Keith faked a hurt look on his face. "No…but what I am is bored!"_

_That was it. Natalie was sick of Keith not helping out. Without thinking about it, she submerged her brush into the green paint and once she was sure it was coated enough, took it out, and flung the paint that was covered on the brush at Keith._

_The paint got all over his hair, face, and shirt. "What was the for?"_

"_Because you're driving me crazy!"_

"_Well, you're driving me crazy, too!" he said as he submerged his hand in the bucket of paint and before Natalie could react he walked over to her and ran his hand all over her hair. _

"_What the hell did you do that for?" she screamed, and then the war was on._

_Paint began to fly and soon it was everywhere, on the floor, on the walls, in their hair, and their clothes. _

_It probably wouldn't have stopped if Keith wouldn't have slipped on a puddle of paint on the floor, causing him to fall, Natalie tumbling down with him._

_They laid there for a few seconds, breathing deeply as they tried to catch their breath, when Natalie felt Keith's finger roam up to her shirt and stop at her bra. "What are you doing?" she hissed, glaring at him._

"_Um…nothing?" At Natalie's look he hastily added, "I just thought that as long as we're in this position we mine as well…"_

"_Keith!" hissed Natalie; she felt him flinch underneath her. "You are such a perv!" She hastily got off Keith._

_Keith followed suit. "I am not! I'm a normal twenty-three year old guy! Of course I'm going to think those things. You were on top of me, if you don't remember!"_

"_That's not the point! I fell! That didn't mean that I wanted to have sex! You are so—"_

_Suddenly, before Natalie could finish her rant, Keith slammed his lips against her's. Without pulling away, he whispered against her lips. "Can you just shut up and let me kiss you?"_

_The touch of Keith's lips caused all the anger to disappear from Natalie, and she kissed him hastily back. She grabbed Keith's hair with her hand, pulling him closer._

_Minutes later, they pulled apart, breathing heavily. "You drive me insane," said Natalie, not taking her gaze away from Keith's eyes._

_Keith kissed her once more before saying, "You drive me insane, too. And that's why I love you."_

_

* * *

_

"Natalie?"

I jumped up a little, the daydream disappearing from my mind forever. I glanced over to see Raff sitting next to me. To say I was shocked was an understatement. He had been purposefully ignoring me since I had broken up with him.

"Hi," I said, not exactly sure what to say.

He gave me a small smile. "I hope I didn't scare you. You looked like you were in a daze though."

"I was just thinking."

We were silent for a few seconds before he said, "So, how've you been?" I just shrugged. "I heard about Keith. I'm really sorry."

Honestly, he did sound sincere, so I don't know why I snapped, "Right."

"What kind of guy do you think I am?" he said, the tone in his voice hinting with anger. "It's not like I wished the guy dead."

"Don't say that," I whispered. At the look on his face I said, "I'm sorry."

"Look," started Raff. "I may have hated the guy, but it was only because I was jealous of him."

"Jealous?"

He gave me a forced smile. "Well, yeah, I mean, it was pretty obvious you were in the love with him."

"Really? It was obvious?"

"Yeah, I could tell just by the way you looked at him."

"I had no idea. I mean, it took me forever to even figure it out." There was an awkward silence before I said, "Look, Raff, you may not believe me, but I really liked you."

"You just didn't love me."

"It's not like I wanted to fall in love with Keith. It just…"

"Happened?"

"Yeah, it just happened." I waited to see if he was going to say something, but when he didn't I said, "You're a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you. And I'm sorry for hurting you."

He shrugged. "I would say I hope that we could try and fix things, but I know it's not the right time."

I shook my head. "No…it's not. I mean, right now I can't even think about having a relationship. I'm still in love with Keith, and I can't see myself with anyone but him. I know it's stupid."

"It's not stupid. And just so you know, I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"Thanks," I whispered.

* * *

A few days passed since I had hung out with Brooke. We talked almost every day now and I was grateful that I had started talking to her more. It was nice and for once I didn't feel so alone.

It was Friday night and I was just about to watch a movie with my mom when Henry called. I immediately felt guilt fill me. I hadn't called or gone to see him since Keith's funeral. It was just too painful for some reason. I mostly felt guilty because Keith had asked me to make sure his dad was okay, and I hadn't followed through on my promise.

Knowing that I needed to talk to him, I took the phone from my mom. "Hey, Henry," I said.

"Hey, Natalie. How've you been?"

"I'm all right," I answered truthfully. "How're you?"

"I'm getting by." He took in a deep breath before he said, "I was wondering if you're not busy, if you could help me with something tomorrow."

"Sure," I said, even though I knew it would be painful. "What do you need help with?"

"I was hoping you'd help me clean out Keith's room."

"Oh," I said, shocked that this was what he wanted me to help him with. "I'll definitely help."

"You don't have to. I know it'll be painful, but I can't seem to move on when every time I walk by his room, and see the mess, I think he's just out."

"Of course I'll help, Henry."

"I really appreciate it. Do you still have that carburetor Keith dropped by?"

"Yeah," I said. I hadn't finished it; since Keith had died I had hidden it in my closet.

"Bring that with you, all right?"

"Why?"

"You'll see," was all he said before he hung up.

* * *

I got to Henry's the next day just after lunch. Not surprisingly I found him working on his truck. I grabbed the box with the carburetor in it before I walked over to him.

"Hey, Natalie," he greeted.

"Hey," I smiled. I was glad that he seemed to be doing a bit better. His face looked livelier, but I could still see sadness in his eyes. I'm not sure if it would ever go away.

He glanced at the box in my hand before saying, "Is that the carburetor?"

"Yup," I said as I opened the box. "I stayed up practically all night to finish it. I'm surprised Keith sat still enough to put together this kind of stuff."

"Well, when it came to his truck, he'd do anything. Even if it meant sitting still for hours."

I glanced over to Keith's truck, which was in the same place it had been since the last time Keith drove it. "Are you planning on ever driving it?" I asked.

Henry looked over to Keith's truck as well. "No, I think he had other plans for it."

"Really?" I asked curiously. "Like what?" I couldn't imagine Keith wanting to have his precious Honeybun not be driven.

Henry just smiled at me before he grabbed the carburetor out of the box and began looking my work over. "You did a great job, Natalie. Keith would be proud."

"Henry!" I said.

"What? I'm not lying."

At my look, he only chuckled and I said, "Why won't you tell me Keith's plans for Honeybun?"

"Honeybun?" He chuckled.

I laughed along with him. "I guess Keith never told you her name."

"I guess he forgot to mention it."

"So, are you going to tell me his plans?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah," I said, hating that my voice had a bit of doubt laced in it. I did want to know what Keith desired to do with Honeybun, but what if he wanted to give her away? What if I could never see her again? Honeybun was just too special to me.

"Well, Natalie, he wanted you to have her."

* * *

After my momentary shock at the news that Keith wanted me to have Honeybun, I helped Henry replace the carburetor, before we made our way inside the house.

Henry poured me a glass of lemonade before saying, "So, are you still up for helping me clean up Keith's room? I totally understand if you don't want to."

"Of course, I'll help."

"I really appreciate it. I had planned to do it while my mom was here, but neither of us could do it."

"I understand. So," I said, and noticing the awkwardness of the situation said, "Do you wanna start now?"

He nodded. I couldn't imagine how difficult this was for him. It took him a few moments to open Keith's room and walk in. I followed behind him, and once I walked in, I closed my eyes. "It still smells like him."

"Yeah," said Henry, "it does."

Henry kicked a huge pile of clothes into Keith's messy closet, so we would have a place to sit. He began explaining what he wanted to do. "I just want to clean it up a bit. I'm in no way ready to get rid of his stuff, but I think I should at least pick up half of his clothes that are on the floor."

"Sounds good," I said, as I grabbed a huge pile of clothes from the closet and started folding them.

Henry followed suit, and after a few seconds, he said with a slight chuckle, "I'm warning you now, I have no idea what we'll find in this room. There could be year old food in the closet."

"Oh, I don't know about that," I started sarcastically, "I think Keith was a very clean and organized guy."

Henry just laughed. "Funny, Natalie. Oh, and if you see anything you'd like to keep, let me know."

Immediately, I already knew one item I wanted to take home. "I already know of something…"

"Sure," he said, glancing down to my pile to see if I had found something. "What is it?"

I glanced around the room, and when my eyes caught it hanging off his desk chair, I pointed to it. "His jacket. If that's all right."

Henry lifted Keith's jacket off of the chair and handed it to me. "There you go."

I hugged it tightly to my chest. "Thanks a lot, Henry."

It didn't take us very long to put Keith's clothes away, as he didn't have much. It took us longer to clean out his desk. Once we were done with that, we both glanced around the room. "Where next?" I asked.

"Well, I would say under his bed, but that's probably a dad's job. You could go through his dresser while I do it or you could just watch me."

"Hmm…watching you clean underneath Keith's bed? I think I may have to."

I sat in Keith's desk chair as Henry looked under the bed. Henry appeared a few seconds later. "There's actually not that much under here," he said surprised, voice muffled. "What is this?" I heard him say after a few seconds.

He then reappeared, holding something yellow. "Do you know what this is?" he asked, handing it to me.

"That's Chirpy," I said with a laugh. I glanced down at him and said, "You, poor thing. Keith left you under the bed the whole time? It must've been scary under there."

"Chirpy?" spoke up Henry. "Explain Chirpy to me. I don't think I've seen a stuffed animal in Keith's room since he was five." I explained the Chirpy story to Henry, who just laughed. "Oh, Keith, he was a character."

"Yeah, he was," I agreed. "Thanks for finding him though, I thought Keith lost him."

I placed Chirpy on top of Keith's jacket. While Henry finished cleaning underneath Keith's bed, I began cleaning out his dresser. It wasn't until I got to the last drawer that I completely stopped what I was doing. The drawer was full of pictures. Pictures of his mom, his dad, pictures of when he was younger. They were all surprisingly neatly piled and had rubber bands around them. I grabbed the first pile.

I looked through the first few piles before Henry asked, "What did you find?"

"Pictures."

"Pictures?" said Henry shocked. He sat down next to me on Keith's bed and grabbed a pile and began looking through them.

We spent a good hour looking through pictures before I saw a one of a five-year-old Keith next to some toy, with a plate of what looked like worms. "What is he doing?" I asked.

As soon as Henry looked at the picture he burst out laughing. "Oh God, I have got to tell you that story."

* * *

_For the past three months Keith had been talking nonstop about a new toy: Creepy Crawlers. Henry didn't know much about it except that it was kind of like the boy version of Easy Bake Oven. Apparently, instead of baking cakes, boys could make their own plastic insects._

_And Keith thought it was _so cool_._

_Every time Henry took Keith to the store, his son would have to go find it—just to look at it._

_So, on Christmas morning, Henry watched happily as Keith tore through his presents. It wasn't until Sandra said to Keith, "I think that's all the presents, sweetie," that Henry realized something was wrong._

_Henry watched as Keith's bottom lip quivered and his eyes filled with tears. Wondering what was wrong with his son, he turned to Sandra expectantly. "Keith, sweetie," Sandra started, "what's wrong?"_

_Through his tears he stuttered, "I-I'm a bad boy." He wiped away his tears with his tiny fist but more just kept coming._

"_You're not a bad boy," said Sandra, giving Henry the same concerned look. "What makes you think you're a bad boy?"_

"_D-Dad said if-if I was a good boy and ate my vegetables and went to bed on time Santa would know I was a good boy. I even ate broccoli! D-Dad said if I did all that I would get Creepy Crawlers."_

_As soon as Keith said this, Henry said quietly, "Shit." He had thought Sandra was going to buy the toy! He couldn't believe they forgot to buy it for him._

"_What's Creepy Crawlers?" whispered Sandra to him._

"_It's this game. He's been talking about it for months. I thought you were going to get him it."_

"_How am I supposed to buy him it if I don't know about it?" she whispered._

"_I'm sorry. I must've forgot to tell you to get it when you went shopping."_

_Sandra pulled a still crying Keith to her side and then added, glaring at Henry, "You better find that game and fast."_

"_I will, I will," he said as he quickly got up, grabbed his coat, and left the house._

_An hour later, he arrived back at home, successful. He found Keith fast asleep on the couch with a Christmas movie playing._

"_Did you find it?" whispered Sandra, and when Henry nodded she visibly sighed._

"_And," started Henry, extremely excited, "I got him every accessorize that went with the toy. I got extra molds and everything!"_

_Sandra smiled. "Okay, we're going to wrap this up and act like we just found it, okay?"_

_Henry nodded and ten minutes later, he shook Keith awake. As soon as he woke up Henry said, "Keith, I think there's a present under the tree that we forgot."_

_Keith's eyes got wide and he shot up, running over to the tree. When he saw the package he said, "Is this for me?"_

"_Let's see," said Sandra. She found the tag. "It's says it's to Keith, from Santa."_

"_Santa?" said Keith. His smile reached his eyes. "Santa brought me this!" And he suddenly tore open the package, and as soon as he saw the package he screamed, "Creepy Crawlers! That means I'm not a bad boy!"_

_. . ._

_The next two weeks, Keith played Creepy Crawlers nonstop. And he talked about it nonstop._

_It was beginning to drive Henry crazy and he was pretty sure Sandra, too. Henry was also getting worried that Keith's new obsession with his new toy was becoming worrisome. But then, he knew that Keith could be doing much worse things than making plastic insects all day._

_When he called Keith for dinner one night, he thought he noticed his son looking particularly mischievous. Keith held this expression often and it always led to some type of accident._

_Henry of course, didn't say anything, knowing that no matter what, Keith wouldn't tell the truth. The first half of the dinner Keith chatted nonstop and Henry thought nothing of it when Keith eyes suddenly got wide and he pointed outside and said, "Look!"_

_There was nothing there. Thinking that Keith had seen some type of bird, Henry and Sandra both resumed eating. That was until Henry took a spoonful of soup and bit into something chewy and slimy._

_He spit it out, and when he glanced into his napkin he saw a piece of what looked like one of Keith's plastic worms. Henry glanced over to Keith to see his son laughing. At this, Henry stood up, grabbed him out of his chair, and carried him over to the couch and said, "Do you know what this means?" Henry then began tickling him._

"_Not the Tickle Monster! No!" screamed Keith. Henry continued to tickle Keith while Keith said, "Stop! I'm sorry!"_

"_What do you say?" asked Henry, laughing._

_Keith could barely catch his breath. "You're-you're the best dad ever!" _

_At this proclamation Henry immediately stopped. "You have tamed the Tickle Monster. For now."_

_Keith laughed and as Henry helped him up, he could only think that he had the best son in the entire world._

_

* * *

_

As Henry ended the story, we both stared at the picture for a few more seconds. "Thanks for telling me the story," I said. "I really appreciate it. I know it must be hard. To-to talk about him."

"Yeah," said Henry. "It is hard. But I don't ever want to forget the memories I've had with him." He stopped and glanced at the pile of pictures in my hand, and while pointing to them said, "You can look through those pictures and take any that you want. Other than that, I think we're done."

"Thank, Henry," I smiled. I grabbed a few more piles of pictures, planning on spending the next few hours looking through them.

* * *

It was a few days before I finally decided to go pick Keith's truck up. My mom dropped me off on her way to work early on Tuesday morning. I waited until she drove away before I slowly walked to Keith's truck. It was still in the same position that it had been a few days ago when I had helped Henry replace the carburetor.

As I neared Honeybun, I began taking in all of the dents and scratches that she had. Every scratch and every dent had a story to it and I wished Keith would've told me them.

I walked around the truck, tracing certain scratches and dents, wondering what Keith had done to get them. I smiled to myself as I thought of the crazy situations he had probably got himself into—like driving on crazy roads, not knowing where he's going and ending up getting stuck.

I walked all the way around his truck, trying to memorize it before I was finally brave enough and got in. Instead of getting into the driver's side, I got in the passenger's where I had always sat. In a way, I thought that if I just got into his truck like normal, Keith would be sitting next to me, asking me what crazy place we should go to and have another picnic inside.

But he wasn't there.

I'm not sure why it was such a huge shock to me, but it was. And it was awful. I felt so stupid feeling like this, because he was gone and sometimes I just couldn't let myself believe it.

"Keith," I spoke out loud, surprising myself. "Please tell me that everything is going to be okay. _Please_."

"Natalie," I heard my name whispered as soon as I had stopped talking. I didn't move, hoping that I could hear my name again, but like always I didn't. At this revelation, I moved over to the driver's side and gasped out loud when I glanced at the steering wheel.

Placed through the steering wheel was another rainbow rose. With trembling fingers I grasped the rose. This time, I couldn't take my time opening the note; the fact that there was another one was just too amazing.

I opened it quickly, and written on yellow construction paper with the handwriting I would never forget was the word, '_Et_.'

I will love you always and…

There was more to the message. I felt myself smile—a real smile that reached my eyes, something that I hadn't done since Keith's death.

I started at the rose for a while, wishing that I could believe that it was really Keith whispering my name and sending me the roses, and not my imagination.

But it was impossible. He was dead and I was never going to see him again.

Right?

* * *

After the initial shock of a new rose, I finally drove out of the driveway and onto a random road. I knew that I wasn't going home. It took me a while to get used to driving a truck, but after I drove down some residential streets, it became easier.

I spent the whole day driving down streets and to places that reminded me of Keith. I drove to the building we had our picnic and to the crossroads right where we had had our first fight. Just as the sun was setting, I arrived at the one place I had been looking forward to the whole day.

Our spot.

It was the most important place that Keith and I had spent our time. It reminded me of so many good memories: the first time Keith kissed me (where I simultaneously realized that I was falling for him…hard); the same place that I told Keith I wanted to be with him; and the place where we first made love.

So many emotions flowed through me that I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. I'm not sure how long I sat in the driver's seat before, without really thinking about it, I made sure the emergency break wasn't on as I got out of the front of the truck and made my way into the bed of it.

I laid on my back, partly wishing that the blanket Keith had always kept was still there, but then liked the discomfort of lying on the bare bed of the truck—pain made me know I was still alive. Once I was as comfortable as possible, I just stared at the sky.

It couldn't have been more than a few minutes when I felt the truck began to move. At its movement, I closed my eyes; I wanted to feel what Keith had felt or had tried to feel when he did this.

As the truck inched closer to the edge of the cliff, I felt my heart began beating faster and my palms began to sweat. As the truck continued to inch closer to an almost certain death, I realized exactly why Keith had done this. He hadn't done it to freak me out, to piss me off. No, he had done it for himself; he had done it to try and feel again.

I put myself in Keith's shoes and I realized that he did this not only to feel again, but most of all, to feel as if he had a sense of control over his death. But when, really, do people have control over that?

Never.

When I was certain I couldn't have been more than a few feet away from falling over the cliff, I began imagining what would happen if I just didn't get up. If I just closed my eyes and let myself fall with Honeybun.

I would be with Keith again.

Just as the prospect started to become more intriguing, I heard it again.

My name.

At this, my eyes snapped open. "Natalie," a voice, which could only be Keith's, spoke a second time, shocking me. Even though my name was whispered like always. This time, I could tell there was a certain urgency to it. And without debating it, I jumped up and into the driver's seat just as the front tires neared the edge of the cliff.

I took in a deep breath before letting what had happened sink in. I couldn't deny it anymore. As impossible as it seemed, I knew that it was _really_ Keith that had been whispering my name and leaving the roses for the past month. So, with my voice shaking I said, "Okay, Keith, I believe it. I believe you're here."

I sat completely still. The only thing I could hear was the pounding of my heart. Just as I began to feel disappointment fill me, I heard Keith's voice break the silence. "Hey, partner."

I turned my head to the direction of his voice, not exactly sure what to expect. But there he was.

Keith was sitting right next to me.

* * *

**A/N:** _I hope you enjoyed it. I promise I will try my hardest to get the next chapter out in a reasonable amount of time (probably toward the end of November). Thanks to Purple Shamrock 17 for being an awesome beta reader as always!_

_Thanks for reading and please review! I'd love to know what you guys think!_


	7. Together Again

**A/N: **_You have no idea how sorry I am for pretty much taking a month longer than I had originally told you I would update. Life has just been crazy lately, but I finally got some time to edit this and get it posted._

_Unfortunately, this is the last chapter. I debated with myself for a long time whether or not I should write an epilogue like I planned, but I just didn't think it was needed and I preferred ending it this way. I hope you agree!_

_I just want to thank everyone who reviewed and read my story. It means a lot to me!_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter Seven: Together Again**

"K-Keith?" I whispered. I couldn't believe that he was sitting _right _next to me. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, but right now I couldn't get any words to come out.

"Cat got your tongue, partner?" Keith chuckled.

"It's really you, isn't it?" I finally managed to choke out, even if my voice held doubt.

"I'd sure hope so, because if it's not, then there's some person out there impersonating me, and that's just plain creepy. Especially, since I'm dead."

At these words, I knew that it was Keith. I couldn't explain why I knew; I just _did_. At my sudden revelation, my momentary surprise vanished and extreme happiness flooded through me.

I could only do one thing—I flung myself at him.

But all I felt was air. Cold air.

Pulling back quickly, I glanced into Keith's eyes, trying to read them, hoping they held the answer, like books always do, but they didn't. His gaze only held a mixture of sadness and of worry. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"W-why can't—" I began, but he placed his index finger against my lips to silence me.

His finger was solid and soft and warm. So perfectly warm.

"I don't understand," I breathed against his finger.

He lowered his finger slowly, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form what he wanted to say. "It's-it's not suppose to make sense…" As he struggled to finish his sentence, I looked down at his hand, which was now resting against his thigh.

I couldn't resist and softly touched his hand; it felt just as warm and soft as before. It looked and felt so human that I could barely process that fact that he wasn't really alive. When I looked back up to him, he stared into my eyes; his eyes which were just as green as I had always remembered.

"So," I whispered, "I-I can only touch your hands?" He nodded. "Why?"

"Some things, Natalie, will never have answers."

"Keith…why are you here?"

"Do you not want me here?" he asked. My heart sank to my stomach as I heard the apprehension in his voice.

"Why wouldn't I want you?" I gently squeezed his hand, reassuring him.

A small smile graced his face as he said, "It's not everyday that someone's dead boyfriend comes back as a ghost." His smile got larger at that.

"Ghost? That's what you are?"

"I suppose," he answered. "Although, I'm not really transparent or whatever people expect ghosts to look like. "

And he didn't. He looked just like he was alive. He looked solid, his eyes were shining, and his cheeks had a tinge of pink to them. He was wearing clothes that I remembered as his favorite: his gray t-shirt, his blue pants with holes in the knees, and his high-top Converse.

He was silent as I glanced him over. "It really was you whispering my name and leaving those roses all along, wasn't it?"

He grinned, his famous grin at that. "Yup."

"Why didn't you appear sooner?" I asked, wanting to add: _instead you watched me grieve._

"I couldn't," he whispered, his voice full of hurt and sadness.

"Why not?"

"It's complicated," he started. "I didn't just appear because I felt like it. I've wanted to be with you since day one, partner, but the thing was you had to believe it was me."

"And tonight I finally did." I smiled, remembering how just minutes ago I had admitted what I had hoped for so long: that Keith was here, with me. I scooted closer to him; I wished so much that I could just lean up against him. "Is that the only reason you're here?"

He shook his head. "No. You see, Natalie, I'm here because we need a proper goodbye, and, well…I also need—"

"Oh." I looked down at his hands, cutting him off. "Do we have to do it now?" I didn't want to have to say goodbye now—he had just gotten here. "Say goodbye, I mean?"

"No, we have a while."

"How long?"

"Just tonight. After that, partner, I gotta go."

"Forever?"

"Yeah, forever." He looked so incredibly sad at this. "I'm sorry."

If we only had one more night left with each other, I wasn't going to spend it being depressed, or thinking about the future and how I would have to go back to living my life without him; instead, I was going to spend our remaining time together happy. "What do you want to do?"

"You'll see."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I followed Keith as we walked up his driveway. Suddenly, I grabbed his hand, stopping him. He looked at me expectantly. "Are you sure," I started hesitantly, "that you want to do this?"

"Do what?" he asked.

I kept my anger in check, even though I knew he knew what I was asking. "To see your dad. I just want to make sure that you're ready for this." I could see the expression on his face begin to turn angry, and I quickly tried to finish what I was trying to say. "I just don't want you to get upset at seeing your dad."

"It's fine," he said. There was a touch of anger in his voice and I knew he was trying hard not to get mad at me. "Look," he suddenly added, "if-if you were in my shoes, wouldn't you want to see your family one last time?"

I thought about his question for a few seconds. What if I had died and was lucky enough to see my mom, Dad, Cynthia, and Zach again?

Would I do it?

"Absolutely," I told him.

"It'll be fine," said Keith as we reached his front door.

I hoped I could believe him.

Just as I went to knock on the door, a though suddenly occurred to me. "Will," I whispered, "he be able to—"

"To see me?" interrupted Keith.

"Yeah."

Keith sadly shook his head. "No, he won't."

"O-Okay. Just signal to me when you want to leave."

"All right, partner."

At this, I lifted my hand and knocked on the door and we both waited for Henry to answer.

A few seconds passed and as soon as Henry opened the door Keith visibly flinched. "Natalie," smiled Henry. "How're you?"

"I'm great."

"Is something wrong with Honeybun?" he asked, glancing over me to where Honeybun sat parked at the end of the driveway.

"No, she's great. I just stopped by…to see how you were doing."

Sadness crossed his face. "I'm doing all right…I was hoping cleaning his room out would help me move on more than it did."

"I know what you mean," I whispered.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked.

Keith nodded. "Sure," I smiled.

Once I made sure Keith had followed me inside, I glanced around the living room. I had been here a few days ago, but there was something that looked different. It took me a moment to notice that there was a bunch of new pictures of Keith lying around. Keith seemed to notice too, and followed me around the living room looking at the pictures Henry had put up—there were pictures of Keith in all ages; I smirked when I saw the picture of Keith with his Creepy Crawler toy.

"You've been busy, Henry," I said, turning around to glance at him.

He shrugged, looking as if he was debating something before he said, "I wanna show you something."

I followed him into the kitchen. Covered on the kitchen table were stacks of pictures—all of Keith. "Oh my God, Henry, this is amazing," I said, realizing what he was doing with all of these pictures. He was scrapbooking.

He smiled at me, before excitement took over and he sat down on one of the chairs and started showing me some pages he had already done. "After we found all of those pictures, I spent all night looking at them, and then I remembered how Sandra always loved to make scrapbooks. And once I got the thought of making one of Keith, I couldn't stop—I went and made copies of the pictures, bought all of this stuff, and haven't really stopped." He laughed then—a real laugh. One that shook the room and flooded through me, making me want to laugh too.

I picked up the first page he had made—which was just a compilation of different aged Keiths. With Keith's full name, birthday, and day he died. "Henry, this is beautiful. I'm sure—I _know_ Keith would love that you're doing this."

At this, Henry chuckled. "If Keith saw that I was doing this, he'd probably take the pages, tear them up, and tell me to never ever do anything this girly again." I laughed along with him, knowing that if Keith was still alive, he probably would do just as Henry said.

It was then that I remembered Keith was actually here, standing next to me, hearing and seeing everything. When I glanced up at him, his gaze was on the scrapbook page I held in my hand; by the glassiness of his eyes I knew this had been a bad idea.

I hastily put the page down, hoping it'd break Keith's stream of thoughts, but instead he only glanced over at Henry and _really_ looked at him.

"Natalie?" spoke up Henry. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, turning my attention back to him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I was just thinking about…him."

"It seems that's all I do," whispered Henry, his voice was full of so much pain, I just wanted to hug him. He trailed his fingers over a picture of Keith. "I thought this would get easier, Natalie. I really did. But it just gets harder and harder. I want my son back."

At this, we both jumped as the front door slammed open. Henry got up quickly, running to close the door. "Must've not closed the door the whole way. Damn wind."

I knew it wasn't the wind that had caused the door to open; it had been Keith, who was now nowhere in sight.

* * *

I hastily made an excuse that I had to get home to make dinner, leaving Henry to continue making his scrapbook. As I walked out of the front door, I glanced around wondering where Keith had gone, and hoping he hadn't left me for good.

He wasn't in Honeybun, like I had hoped. Instead, I found him in the tiny shed in his backyard. I probably wouldn't have found him if it wasn't for the crashing noises I heard coming from inside first.

When I opened the door, I found Keith throwing random items against the wall. "Keith!" I hissed, making sure I didn't scream. I didn't want Henry to hear me; although, with Keith throwing things against the wall I was surprised he hadn't come outside to check on the noise already . "Please stop!" He didn't seem to hear me, or was ignoring me, as he picked up a box of tools and flung them next. "Keith, stop!" I said again, running up to him and grabbing both of his hand before he could do anymore damage.

He didn't try to fight me like I had expected; instead, he collapsed on the ground, his shoulders shaking with sobs. "Shh…it's all right, Keith. Shh…" I wanted more than anything to be able to hug him, but I could only whisper comforting words that I didn't think helped much anyway.

"It's-It's not all right," he said, his voice muffled, and he kept his face downcast, as if he was ashamed that he was crying. "It's just _not_." He lifted his head a little, but wouldn't look at me. "You-you were right. I-I shouldn't have gone to see him. I should've _listened_ to you."

At this, he glanced up to look at me, and streaming down his face were tears, but they weren't normal tears—the kind of tears I had been so used to seeing recently.

Instead of the tears that everyone cried, Keith's, as they slid down his cheeks, they sparkled so brilliantly that they rivaled diamonds. How could his tears, which were expressing so much of his pain, be so strangely beautiful?

I couldn't help but stare at his strange tears. As soon as one would slide down his cheek, it disappeared before it landed on the ground, as if it had never been there. Almost like a shooting star, they came and disappeared in a matter of seconds.

"Why-why are you looking at me like that?" asked Keith between his tears.

"It's just," I started. Here I was, starting at his tears, when I should be comforting him, "your tears…they're beautiful." I hadn't meant to say it, but it was like there was something pressing me to say how beautiful they were. Once I said the word 'tears' shame seemed to cross his face and I instantly regretted bringing it up.

"I didn't mean to cry. It's stupid, I know." He hastily tried to wipe away his tears, but more kept on coming.

"It's not stupid, Keith. Far from stupid. I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," he said, "just another obvious thing to remind myself and you that I'm not alive anymore. That I can't be here. Natalie," he stopped to compose himself, "Dad, he looked so sad. Like…I can't even explain it. He's not supposed to be like this."

"Sweetie," I said, "he'll be okay; he's still grieving, but-but you just have to give him time."

Why was it that I believed Henry could move on, but not me? I felt like I would never move on; that I would never love anyone like I loved—_love_—Keith.

Never.

"He's lonely," said Keith.

"Yeah, he is," I frowned. And it was true; Henry was lonely. At least I had my parents and friends, but who did Henry have? "I'm sure someday, Keith, he'll find someone that will take his loneliness away…at least a little. But he'll always miss you."

"Will you promise me something, partner?" he asked.

I hesitantly nodded. I wasn't sure I should be promising him anything. It was obvious I hadn't done that good of a job making sure Henry was okay. "Sure."

"Can you promise me, that someday, you'll find something that won't make him so lonely?"

At the look he was giving me, the only thing I could do was say, "Yes."

* * *

After Keith had calmed down and we cleaned up the shed, we got back into Honeybun and I drove down roads that weren't familiar to me, but were to Keith. Twenty minutes later he had me stop in the parking lot near a park.

"Dad and Mom used to take me here all the time when I was little," he said.

"Really?" I asked. I have never seen the park before and took a few seconds to observe it. There was a slide, monkey bars, and some swings.

"You wanna get out?" asked Keith.

"Let's go." I tried to run fast enough to catch up to him, but he was too excited and too fast, and by the time I caught up to him he was already walking on top of the monkey bars. On top of them.

"What're you doing?" I called as he walked quickly back and forth.

"Walkin'on monkey bars. It's kind of obvious, don't you think?"

He could still irritate me; I didn't know whether or not to smile at this. So I did anyway, before I yelled, "Get down from there!"

He stopped suddenly, and before I could process what he was doing, he was hanging off one of the bars with only his legs supporting him.

I walked as close as possible to him. Our eyes were staring directly into each other's. "You know," he started, "even if I fell, it's not like it would do anything. If you forgot, partner, I'm kind of already dead."

"Always the joke."

He smirked at this, but I could see a sadness that he was trying to cover up. As his smirk faded, his green eyes seemed to bore into me. It felt like he could read all of my secrets and I wondered if maybe he could.

"I wish I could kiss you," he whispered. He lifted his hand to the side of my face and left it there. Even though his hand felt like ice, I made no move (nor did I want to) to pull away.

"You have no idea," I said.

He kept his hand there for a few more minutes, almost as if he was trying to memorize something, before he let go of the bar and landed on the ground. As he got up, he grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the swings.

I got on one, expecting Keith to do the same, but instead he stood behind me and began pushing me.

"You know," I started, "it would probably freak people out if they walked by and saw me moving in the swing without doing anything."

Keith chuckled at this and in that moment, I remembered how much I loved his laugh and how much I missed it.

"So, why is it that I can only touch your hands, but you can touch everything else? Like the monkey bars and the car and door handles?"

He continued to push me, but didn't say anything for the longest while. "I already told you, partner, there aren't answers to everything. Plus, to tell you the truth, I really don't know why."

"It just doesn't seem fair."

At my statement, Keith halted his pushing and said quietly, "As you and I both know, Natalie, life isn't fair. But part of me thinks the only reason you can touch my hands is because if you could hug me and…you know, kiss me, you'd become too attached. Maybe it's just a way to prevent that."

I turned around in my swing to look at him. "But I'm already attached."

"I know." He smiled sadly. "But, maybe, just _maybe_, if we could do those other things…like hug, you wouldn't ever let me go. You need to let me go. I need to let you go," he whispered.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, his words did make sense. What if I could hug him and do everything I use to be able to do with him? Like rest my head on his chest and kiss his soft lips…then, when he disappeared again, this time forever, it would feel like I had lost him all over again. "I understand."

I turned back around, and he started pushing me again. "Why did you take me here?" I asked.

"I just figured if I only have one night left, I want to visit the places that I'll miss the most. I didn't really have time to do that since I was so sick."

"Where to next?" I asked, not wanting to remember the horrible time when he was sick. It would be awhile before I would be able to talk about it and not get so upset.

He stopped pushing and stepped around the swing so he was facing me; he placed both hands on the chains of the swing set, before leaning close to me. "We are going to go where Honeybun was born."

* * *

Keith took me to his friend, Andy's, shop.

"Did you and Henry come here a lot?" I asked, sensing this was more of the reason why it was one of the places he'd miss the most than rather where he had built his beloved truck.

"Oh yeah," he said, as he carefully and quietly lifted one of the garage doors a few feet above the ground before beckoning me to follow him. "We spent a whole summer here a few years ago," he told me as I crawled underneath the garage door.

"Sounds like fun," I said, as I stood up, and began dusting myself off.

"It was," he beamed. "Plus, it was almost a way for Dad and I to grieve for Mom's death."

"That must've been hard."

He looked around the room before saying, "Yeah, it was." He picked it up some random truck part, glancing at it for a few seconds, before turning back around to face me. "You know the reason I love my truck so much?"

"Why?"

"Because, she's made of all these," he said, showing me the part.

"Aren't all trucks made out of parts?" I laughed, taking the part from him; I couldn't distinguish what it was.

"No," he said, averting his eyes to the ground, "because she's made out of all spare parts. So many people think that everything needs to be perfect, that everything needs to be new and have no flaws, but I think that's what makes life so special. Flaws. And Honeybun, she has flaws. She's not perfect." He looked a bit ashamed at his deep confession. "It's stupid, I know."

"It's not stupid," I said. "I just think someone's in love," I added, trying to add some humor to the moment.

He smiled at that. "All guys love their cars, partner."

"Just not as much as you."

At this, he looked directly into my eyes and said, "Of course not," and I wondered if we were still talking about trucks still…or something else.

Keith stared at me for a few more moments before he began walking around the tiny garage that he and his dad had spent so much time. I watched him silently and he would, every so often, pick up a spare part or tool that I assumed triggered some special memory; I felt like I was interrupting an incredibly private moment of his.

As I stood back, letting Keith wander around the small room, I reminisced about the first time Keith took me here. In the beginning, I just thought he was some weird truck geek, but it didn't take long for that to change. I tried to think back to the time when I had started to fall for him, and suspected it was very soon after he had taken me to Andy's.

After awhile I walked up to him quietly, grabbing his hand in mine before asking, "What're you thinking about?"

"Everything," he sighed.

"You want to share everything with me?"

He turned to look at me, taking his free hand and placing a loose piece of hair behind my ear before answering, "Okay." I waited expectantly for him to start confessing. "I just—I thought this would be so much easier. I've been watching you and Dad since…you know. And all I hoped for was you."

"Me?" I asked, a tiny bit confused.

"Yeah," he smiled. "I hoped with everything that I had that you would believe that it was me saying your name, me leaving those roses. You were all the hope I had to be able to come back, one last time, and really to have the chance to say goodbye.

"But now…it's so much harder. Everything I see...do…It's just so hard. Now that I'm here, I don't want to leave you or my dad or that stupid playground or this stupid garage. I just want to stay."

I took in a shaky breath at his words, knowing what I wanted to say, but knowing what I needed to say. "Keith, you gotta say goodbye. We _have _to say goodbye."

He took in a shaky breath as well. "I know." He faced me. "Wanna go back to our spot?"

I knew why he requested it; it was time for us to say goodbye soon. "Yeah, let's go to our spot."

* * *

When we arrived at our spot neither of us spoke, we just sat as close as possible to each other staring out of Honeybun's front window.

"It's crazy how fast time flies," Keith spoke up after a few minutes, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade, startling me.

"Yeah, I know," I responded. It seemed like it had been only a few minutes since Keith had appeared but truthfully, it had been hours. "Why is it that times goes slowly when you don't want it to, but fast when you don't?" I turned to look at Keith, as if he had all the answers.

"Maybe that's what makes life so special and interesting, partner." He smirked at me and added, "What's with all these deep questions tonight?"

"I don't know," I answered, but to myself I wondered if maybe the reason why I kept asking him these questions was because I expected that he would know the answer, now that he was…

Keith gave me one of his famous lopsided grins at that, and I tried to memorize it; memorize the way it was only a grin that _he_ could produce and how it made his eyes shine like it was Christmas morning. I tried not to dwell on the fact that this was probably the last time I would see it for real. Any time after now would rest solely on the remembrance through pictures. "Partner," Keith spoke up again. "You want to stand outside? I just want to look out at the view…you know…"

"One last time?" I finished for him.

"Yeah."

I followed him out of the truck and he stood as close to the edge of the cliff as possible. If I didn't trust him so much, I probably would've stood a few feet behind him. But I did trust him. I grabbed Keith's hand before glancing down at the lake. I hadn't realized how far down it really was; a flood of fear coursed through me, and I thought back to a few hours ago, wondering if I would've ever stopped the truck in time. I liked to think so.

"Keith," I suddenly spoke up. "I-I was wondering…there's something that's been bothering me and—and I was just wondering if maybe…"

"Yes, Natalie?"

I was momentarily caught off guard that he hadn't made a sarcastic comment at my obvious inability to ask what I wanted to. I figured that he could tell what I was trying to ask was serious. "Was it painful?"

"Painful?" he asked, but before I could clarify, understanding crossed his features and he said in a low voice, "You mean, death? Dying?"

I only nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He was silent for a while before he finally said, "No, it wasn't."

"You're not lying, are you?" I had to make absolutely sure that he was telling the truth. He shook his head. "What was it like, then?"

"I-I'm not really sure how to describe it," he started. "It was almost like this immense relief. I-I finally felt normal. I didn't feel sick. I felt good. Healthy. It was just this incredible feeling."

"I worried about it all the time," I said. "That you had been in pain, and I hadn't been there."

"I promise you, it wasn't painful."

He gave me a soft smile. "We have to say goodbye now, don't we?" My voice cracked.

"We need to say goodbye now." He looked so sad at this, and I was sure I had the same expression gracing my face. "Partner, I want you to listen to me, okay?" I nodded, not taking my gaze away from his. "I-I came back because you—_we_—needed a proper goodbye, but there's also something else I came to take away."

"What's that?"

He took a deep breath, before saying, "Your guilt."

"Guilt? What do you mean guilt?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Your guilt about not being there…the night I died."

"Oh," I said in a tiny voice. How did he know?

He continued, "I know you blame yourself for not being there, but don't. I don't blame you. You were there for me all the time. You didn't need to physically be there for me to know that you were there. You have no idea how much you were there for me. Why you never realized it I don't know. Maybe I should've talked to you about it before. Thanked you more."

He was silent for a while, as if what he was going to say next was hard to say. "I've never been that good at letting people in. Especially after my mom died. I thought that by not letting people in, I wouldn't hurt and I couldn't hurt them. But that didn't happen. I couldn't _not_ let you in. No matter how hard I tried. I just want you to know how grateful I am for you being there with me and for loving me."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks by now, and Keith looked extremely close to crying as well. I was crying so hard that I couldn't get myself to speak.

"Will you do that for me? Will you stop blaming yourself?"

"I-I promise," I cried. "I promise I'll stop blaming myself."

"Good," he smiled. He looked incredibly relieved. "That's my partner."

I gave him a small laugh at that. "I'm going to miss you; I _do_ miss you."

"I miss you too. But partner, please stop letting my death make you stop living your life. Please follow your dreams. I don't want to be the reason you don't."

"I will. Is this goodbye forever?"

"Never forever," he whispered. "We'll be together again, one day."

"Never forever," I repeated, letting the words sink in and fill me up.

At this, he brought his free hand that wasn't grasping mine to wipe away my tears, before he slowly trailed his fingers across my lips. His fingers were cold, but his touch was as light as a feather; I shivered at it.

It was such a simple, innocent gesture, but it felt so incredibly intimate. "I love you," he whispered. Tears were running down his cheeks now; his tears still shone like diamonds, but this time I focused on his face, on him.

"And I love you."

As soon as I whispered those words, he was gone. Just like that. And resting in the place that he had stood was a rainbow rose.

The last one.

I was positive this was the last part to the message. It was closure.

Crying, I sank to my knees and with trembling fingers opened the note. It read: _pour l'etermite, Keith._

Forever.

Partner, I will love you always and forever, Keith.

* * *

It had been two weeks since I had last seen Keith, and not a day had gone by where I didn't think of him. Although, I still missed him desperately—my grief, however, was different. I didn't want to sleep away my life; instead, I actually wanted to go on living. I knew that I would always love Keith, but he had been right, I still needed to follow my dreams. I had promised him, and I was going to follow through on my promises.

That was why, for the past two weeks, I had been busy preparing for Duke. My parents were both happy with my new motivation for school, and life too. As well as preparing for Duke, I had fixed Honeybun up a little. I had repainted her and added some extra touches to her. I knew she had some old memories, but it was time I made some new ones. She was still Keith's, but now she felt like mine too.

With only a little more than month left before my first semester at college started, there were only a few things I needed to do: visit Henry and go to London, Ontario.

"I still don't understand," said my mom the day I was leaving for the weekend trip to London. "Why you won't let your father or I—or even Zach—to go with you? I'd just feel so much better about it."

I zipped up my suitcase and glanced at my mom. "I know, but the thing is Mom, I have to do this alone. For myself and for Keith."

She sniffed before saying, with a sigh, "My little girl's growing up."

I really appreciated my mom in that moment; I appreciated the fact that she let me go even though she really didn't want me to.

I said goodbye to my family before I got in Honeybun. I only had to make a few stops before I went to Henry's, to give him something that I had been planning on for the past few weeks.

Keith was worried his dad was going to live his life lonely, and I wanted to make sure I tried something to fix that. I knew that there was nothing I could do to replace Keith, but there was something I had thought of that might take some of Henry's loneliness away.

A few hours later, I was knocking on Henry's door. "Hey, Natalie," he said. I was happy to see that he had more shine to his eyes, and his smile seemed less fake, more real. "You're just the person I wanted to see."

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded. "I have something for you."

He went to walk in the house, but I said, "Wait!"

He looked at me expectantly. "I-I have something for you too. I think I should give you my gift first, though." I wasn't sure how long my gift would behave.

"Well, all right," he said, sounding rather amused. "Don't you want to come inside?"

I shook my head. "No. Just follow me."

He did so without any questions, and when we stood by the truck (he made comments about Honeybun's new improvements) I began, "So, there was one thing Keith always worried about, and he asked me to make sure of something before he passed away."

He looked intrigued at this. "What was that?"

"Well, he didn't want you to feel lonely, and one day an idea hit me. So I got you—" I swung open the car door, and staring right into Henry's eyes was a black and white cocker spaniel. I picked her up and handed her to him.

"Her name is Princess."

"Princess," said Henry, chuckling. He held Princess out in front of him and she kissed him, tail wagging. "Now aren't you adorable. Looks like you've got a new home."

I grabbed Princess' crate and a few bags with items I had bought for her. Henry glanced at the stuff and said, "How about we take Princess inside and you can show me what else you've got and I'll give you something."

Once inside, Henry placed Princess on the ground, but she wouldn't sit still—only followed Henry everywhere he went.

I showed Henry everything I had bought for Princess: bowls, collar and leash, food, toys, and a bed (Henry made an offhand commenting stating that with her name, Princess may get the luxury of sleeping with him on his bed). After we organized everything, Henry had me sit on the couch and close my eyes.

A few moments later I felt something settle on my lap and when I opened my eyes I was greeted to the sight of a scrapbook. I immediately knew what it was. "Henry, you didn't—"

He cut me off. "When I went to make copies of the pictures I had of Keith, a thought occurred to me. Why not make two?"

"Henry, this is so beautiful." It was amazing and it was obvious how much time and effort Henry had spent on it.

"I just thought that you'd like to have some pictures of Keith. Whenever you miss him you can just look at the book and remember that he had a great life, even though it was too short, and that he was incredibly loved."

I turned to face Henry. "Thank you so much," I whispered. "I will treasure this forever. I promise."

"I should be thanking you," started Henry as he picked up Princess who had been pawing at his leg to get him to pick her up. "For Princess. It'll be nice to have someone else around." He looked down at her. "Now, I have someone else to spoil."

I bit my lip for a minute before I suddenly blurted out, "I'm on my way to London. Ontario."

I expected to see surprise grace his face, but it didn't. "I'm not surprised at that. I was wondering when you were going to tell me you were going."

"You knew?" I asked, aghast. "I know it was something you had planned to do with Keith, but I just feel this is what I need to do before I start college. Kind of like a closure almost."

"I think it'll be great for you, Natalie."

I stood up, smiling. "I hate to leave so soon, but I want to start driving today. The truck show starts on Friday."

Henry stood up as well, cradling Princess to his chest. "Have fun. You'll need to come back and tell me all about it."

"Oh, I will," I said. "Just don't expect me to give very detailed descriptions on the trucks. I'm sure I'll think they all look exactly the same." He walked me to the door, and I noticed he looked like he wanted to say something. "Henry?"

"I just want to thank you again for loving Keith and for being there, Natalie."

"Henry, you don't need—"

He silenced me by pulling me into a hug. "Call me if you need anything, all right?"

Pulling away, I said, "I will," before walking out and getting into Honeybun, ready to start our adventure.

As I backed out of the driveway, I waved goodbye to Henry and Princess, knowing for certain that Henry, like me, was going to be all right.

* * *

**A/N:** _I hope you enjoyed it! As always, thanks to Purple Shamrock 17 for being a great beta! __Thanks again for reading; I would love to read what you guys thought! And of course, have a great Christmas and New Year!_


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